Category - AITA

Fresh updates and insights

AITA for not giving my 18 yo stepson my 4 yo daughter’s money?

My husband and I have been together for seven years, married for five. He has a son and a daughter from his previous marriage, 18 and 13, and we have a four-year-old daughter together. Although we have some shared expenses, for the most part we keep our finances separate. Custody is shared 50/50 between my husband and his ex regarding the older kids. Long story short, my oldest stepson graduated a couple weeks ago. He’s only ever wanted to go to one school which happens to be a very specialized and hence very expensive university out of state. He applied, was accepted, and got a decent but not phenomenal scholarship from the school itself. Meanwhile, my husband has been encouraging him to look into additional scholarships and potentially ROTC or Air National Guard to help with the remainder of expenses. My husband’s company went under a couple of years ago and he is just beginning to recover financially so paying out out of pocket for his son’s tuition is simply not an option. Unfortunately for Stepson, his focus here lately has been on his new girlfriend and not his academics and scholarships, and unfortunately he’s decided his dad is an idiot when it comes to scholarships and military service and that he’ll figure it out on his own. All fine and good except for the fact that he hasn’t figured it out on his own, and sometime here in the next several months the University he wants to attend is asking for roughly $25,000 in tuition money. After dodging financial conversations and scholarship conversations with my husband for the past six or seven months, he finally came out and asked his dad how he was going to be paying for the tuition because the school is starting to ask for deposits etc. Husband “broke it” to him that there is no college fund set aside (apparently BioMom has been telling him there was. I have no idea where she got that idea.) Now the whole family is up in arms that my stepson may not be able to go to the school of his choice. Now it’s come up that our four-year-old has a college fund and investment account, because on my computer there is literally a folder on the desktop that has the investment links and logins and paperwork organized. Right now it has about $8000 in it, all of it from me personally depositing money and all of the little cash gifts my daughter receives for Christmas and birthdays etc. Because of how badly this whole tuition and university situation has exploded, my husband now thinks we should pay for my stepson’s stuff with my daughter’s money and he will pay me back. The problem is, I’ve already given my husband a pile of money for other things and I’ve never gotten it back so I said no. Am I the asshole for ruining my stepson’s university opportunity? Everyone else seems to think so but I seem to think this should have been talked about and dealt with a long time ago.

2025-09-04 12:37:39

Jonas Bergström

Family

AITAH for getting a medical procedure for my non-verbal brother without his consent?

I (34M) am the primary caregiver for my younger brother, Noah (22M), who is non-verbal and has a severe intellectual disability. He was diagnosed in early childhood and, despite years of therapies and support, his cognitive abilities are similar to those of a toddler. Noah is a kind and gentle person, but he struggles to communicate his needs and experiences severe sensory sensitivities. One of the biggest challenges we’ve faced is his dental hygiene. Despite our best efforts, brushing his teeth has always been a battle. He doesn’t understand the importance of it, and any attempt to clean his teeth triggers meltdowns. We’ve tried specialized toothbrushes, desensitization therapies, and even sedating toothpaste options—nothing has worked. Over the past year, his dental health deteriorated to the point where he was in visible discomfort, but because he can’t tell us when he’s in pain, it took a while to realize how bad things had gotten. After consulting with his dentist and medical team, we decided the best option was to put him under general anesthesia to treat his existing dental issues and, at the same time, perform a procedure to prevent future decay—applying dental sealants and removing a few problematic teeth. The procedure went smoothly, and since then, Noah has been noticeably happier and calmer. He’s eating more comfortably, and the stress around brushing his teeth has significantly decreased. The issue arose when my older sister, Emma (38F), found out. Emma has always been somewhat distant from Noah’s day-to-day care, but she’s very vocal about disability rights. When I told her about the procedure, she was furious. She accused me of violating Noah’s bodily autonomy and making permanent decisions without his consent. I tried to explain that this was about preventing his suffering—he cannot understand dental pain or communicate his distress, and the procedure improved his quality of life. But she said I was treating him like a child and implied I was taking the "easy way out" instead of working harder on alternatives. Since then, she’s been calling and texting, saying I crossed an ethical line. She even involved a few extended family members who now think I’m “controlling” Noah’s body without regard for his autonomy. Meanwhile, I’m just trying to do what’s best for him—I see his daily struggles firsthand, and I genuinely believe this was the kindest choice. I love my brother and want to give him the best quality of life possible. But with my sister’s accusations ringing in my ears, I’m starting to wonder—did I overstep? AITAH?

2025-10-15 13:59:42

Luca Moretti

Relationships

AITAH for leaving my own birthday dinner early after my boyfriend showed up with three of his friends uninvited?

I (26F) planned a small birthday dinner at one of my favorite restaurants just five of my closest friends and my boyfriend (28M). I reserved the table, I wanted it to be a chill, intimate night with the people who matter most to me. When my boyfriend arrived he brought three of his friends that I barely know. No warning. No ": Hey, do you mind?" Just a casual "They didn’t have plans, figured it’d be fun." It completely changed the vibe. The restaurant had to rearrange the table and suddenly this dinner I planned turned into him holding court with his buddies. They dominated the conversation with inside jokes, barely acknowledged my friends. I felt like an extra at my own event. I tried to stay polite, but I was honestly upset. After about an hour of feeling invisible, I pulled the server aside, paid the entire bill including for his friends told everyone I wasn’t feeling well, said a warm goodbye to my friends and left. Later that night, my boyfriend texted saying I was dramatic and made him "look bad" in front of his friends. He said I should’ve just gone with the flow and that I ruined the night for everyone. I didn’t yell, I didn’t cause a scene. But now he’s acting like I was out of line.

2025-10-15 13:59:40

Elise Dubois

Relationships

AITA for reporting threats made by my husband's kids and their mom to CPS and then leaving because I'm pregnant?

I (30f) have been married for the last two years and together with my husband (33m) for a little over 4.5 years. He's divorced with two children (11 and 13) with his ex. I was not the other woman. They were not married when I met him and had been divorced for at least 3 years by that point. But the ex was very difficult once I moved in with my husband. It was something that could be managed by reducing contact back then but she made it clear she didn't want her kids to have a stepmom and she did voice to the kids that she did not want them to like or respect me. It didn't work right away and we got along well at the start but a few weeks after the wedding there was a very clear change in the relationship. It wasn't unmanageable and we went to therapy together to try and make things work well like they had previously. Things changed for the worst when I became pregnant. We told the kids and they became angry. They told their mom and she became angry. And then the kids were aggressive in speaking to me. There was a lot of fuck you and fuck off and get the fuck out of here from them. I was called names. I was told to get an abortion by the 13 year old. My husband was speaking to his kids and punishing them when needed. But it got worse. And then the kids showed me texts between them and their mom where there were threats to me and my unborn child. Which turned into them threatening to make sure I didn't give birth. They were serious enough that I had to call my husband home from work early because the kids were acting like they might just follow through. He disciplined them and he told me that I shouldn't worry because they won't really do it. I told him I wasn't sure about that and he told me he wouldn't let anything happen. But it almost did. The 11 year old attempted to make the threats a reality. I told my husband I was not putting myself or our baby at risk. He told me it wouldn't happen again and he'd be dealing with it all around but he had no answer as to what he could do. Not even to say the kids would never be left with just me and then more threats came as we were fighting about it. I told him I was not taking chances with my baby. I made a report to CPS and then I moved out of the house I share with my husband and in with my parents. This is all very recent but the CPS investigation is taking this seriously from what I can tell. My husband has reached out to me and he expressed how hurt and angry he was that I took it this far. His parents have also done the same. They told me I took it too far and I could have worked with my husband to make this safer for me. I feel like I gave it a chance but he was far too blasé about it especially after the attempt. But maybe I'm overreacting and I'm here to be told if that's true or not. I only want to keep my baby safe.

2025-10-15 13:59:35

Anya Petrova

Relationships

AITA for telling my BIL that someone is going to punch his girlfriend one day?

My older sister recently got married to her long-time fiance. They are polyamorous and both have a separate partner each. I have met my sisters boyfriend a few times at holiday events and he was really nice. My brother-in-law's girlfriend (we'll call her Sally) I've met once before at their engagement party and she seemed nice but she also seemed like the type of person who wants to be the center of attention. She talked over everyone, insisted on helping my sister open any gifts they received and she even told people that "she's the reason" my sister and my BIL were getting married because she's officiating the wedding. It all rubbed me the wrong way, but as long as my sister and BIL were cool with it, who was I to say anything? Things did get a little weird towards the end of the party, however, because Sally got pretty drunk and started very loudly proclaiming how monogamy was ruining relationships and was disgusting. That the only reason people aren't open with their love is because they are scared, insecure, jealous, and controlling. This made most of the people left at the party visably uncomfortable and most left soon after because she wouldn't stop (even after my BIL took her aside and told her to calm down). I was helping my sister clean up from the party when Sally started questioning me about my stance (my boyfriend had to work so he wasnt at the party). My sister tried to squash the discussion but Sally ignored her and asked again. I very calmy explained that I tried polyamory once and quickly realized it wasn't for me and that I was now in a very happy monogamous relationship but totally support non-monogamous relationships. Sally started to say something but my sister very firmly told her that she was drunk and to go lay down. She rolled her eyes but did stomp back to the bedroom. My sister then explained how Sally was usually very nice but did make being poly her whole personality, which had caused problems before. Flash forward a few weeks later to the wedding itself: everything went great! It was beautiful and everyone seemed happy. During the reception my boyfriend and I were talking to my mom and Sally approached us to say hi (shes met my mom quite a few times and my mom is the type to love everyone). My mom reintroduced me and also introduced my boyfriend. Nothing seemed off, we all said our pleasantries and that was it. A little later, my boyfriend went to get some drinks for us while I danced with my sister. It was taking him longer than I expected, so I went to go looking for him. To my suprise, he was being cornered by Sally near the drink table. His back was literally to the wall and everytime he took a step away from her, she would step closer. She was also rubbing his arm in a flirty way. I couldn't hear what she was saying to him, but the relief on his face when he saw me told me everything I needed to know. The only thing I did hear was her whining, "oh, come on." I walked up and grabbed my drink from his hand, which finally made her take a few steps back. I asked what they were talking about and she very bluntly and flirtatiously replied, "I was just telling him how much I love gingers." (My boyfriend, obviously, is a ginger). I simply told her, as calmly as I could, to stop being a fucking cunt and there were plenty of single people at the wedding she could hit on. She said something back but I was already pulling my boyfriend away and didn't hear nor care. The rest of the night was uneventful other than normal wedding fun. A few days later, my BIL texted me to say I needed to apologize to Sally because flirting with people is part of her personality, and she didn't do anything wrong. I told him that one day she's going to come across someone less nice than me and she's going to get her shit rocked. My BIL thinks I'm being petty and an asshole, my sister and mom think I was justified and that Sally was being disrespectful.

2025-10-15 13:59:29

Clara Jensen

TV Shows

AITA for suing my neighbor after their kid trespassed and fell into my koi pond?

I (22M) have a koi pond in my backyard. It’s not just any koi pond—it’s a full-blown, professionally designed Japanese garden with a bridge, waterfalls, and koi that cost more than my car (I’m talking $1,000 for a single fish). Maintaining this pond is my pride and joy. I’ve put years into this hobby, and my yard is securely fenced with “No Trespassing” signs everywhere. Enter my neighbor, “Karen” (fake name, but fitting). Karen has a son, let’s call him Timmy (8M), who is notorious for wandering into other people’s yards uninvited. I’ve talked to Karen multiple times about this, but she just brushes it off with, “Kids will be kids.” Last week, while I was out running errands, I got a frantic call from Karen. Apparently, Timmy *climbed over my fence* to “feed the fish” (even though I have explicitly told him to stay out). In doing so, he slipped, fell into the pond, and destroyed part of my carefully maintained ecosystem. Several of my prized koi died due to stress, and the filtration system was damaged because of the debris Timmy kicked in. Luckily, Timmy wasn’t seriously hurt—just a few scrapes—but Karen has been *demanding* I pay for his medical bills. She claims my pond is an "attractive nuisance" and that I should’ve had a cover or something to prevent kids from falling in. I argued that (1) it’s a private, fenced property, and (2) her son had no business being there in the first place. When I refused to pay, Karen lost it and started badmouthing me to the whole neighborhood, calling me “heartless” and a “terrible person.” I’ve since filed a lawsuit against her for the cost of the koi, the damage to my filtration system, and repairs to my pond—over $5,000 in total. Some of my friends think I’m taking it too far, saying, “He’s just a kid.” But others agree that Karen should’ve been watching him better. So, Reddit, AITA for suing my neighbor after her kid trespassed and destroyed my koi pond?

2025-10-27 18:33:27

Jonas Bergström

Relationships

AITAH: I am calling off my engagement after my partner revealed he is MAGA.

My fiancé and I have been together since 2013 when we met in college. He struggled to get a well paying job and during his long bouts of unemployment must have been radicalized to blame everyone else I chalked it up to depression and tried to get him help with therapy. I paid for him to return to school to become a nurse too but he still has not completed the pre request after 7 years!He currently works gig jobs while I am a nurse in California making close to 400k a year working a full time and a part time job. I was hoping to save up enough to not have to work after having a baby since I one I cannot rely on him. We were planned to get married next year and wanted to try for a baby. He knows I am very liberal and all about women’s rights. He never openly expressed support for MAGA itself until after Trump won and said Trump will help the economy and finally allow him to get a good job I told him that it was the easiest time to get a job in the past 20 years in 2021 yet he couldn’t. I am not giving into sunken costs and staying and he didn’t know, but he did make offhand comments before on women losing their worth the older they get and I questioned him and he said it was a joke. The past week has been miserable listening to him talk non stop on how great trump is and how he will turn everting great again. I had it and gave him notice to leave by the end of the month and we are through. He said it’s unfair and told me it’s stupid to give up on us over just politics. The very fact he said that solidified the notion that he is so clueless and our values are too different. He will likely have to move back into his parent’s home or be homeless since he makes less than 35k a year in the most expensive region in the USA. Am I the asshole for throwing away my relationship of 11 years over politics? I wish politics was boring again.

2025-10-27 18:22:06

Clara Jensen

Family

AITAH for telling my best friend her marriage is doomed at her bachelorette party and accidentally getting the wedding canceled

This weekend was a disaster... I 27F have been best friends with Amy 28F for years. She has been with this guy Jake for about three years, and honestly, he is a walking red flag. He is super controlling, jealous, and always checking her location. Once, he called her nine times while we were just shopping at Target. Amy keeps defending him, saying he is just protective because he cares so much. Whatever At her bachelorette party, it was supposed to be a fun girls night, but Jake kept blowing up her phone. Texts, FaceTimes, asking where she was, accusing her of acting single. She kept leaving to call him back, crying and apologizing, while the rest of us sat there awkwardly. After about the fourth time she left the table, I just lost it. When she came back, I said loud enough for the whole table to hear You are not marrying a husband, you are signing up for a lifetime of being babysat by a jealous manchild. Amy started crying and ran out of the bar, half the girls followed her Later that night, her mom called me, drunk, thanking me, because apparently they have all been worried about Jake but did not know how to stop the wedding. Her mom told Amy if she goes through with the wedding, they will not pay for it. Now Amy has blocked Jake, moved out of their apartment, and moved back into her parents house. But she also blocked me for humiliating her Half our friend group is saying I did the right thing. The other half is calling me jealous and toxic for blowing up her relationship right before the wedding. So.. AITAH?

2025-10-30 08:06:20

Anya Petrova

Relationships

AITAH for letting my chronically late wife miss an event she was looking forward to by not rushing her, because I wanted her to face consequences?

My wife (32F) and I (31M) have been together for 5 years. I’m fed up with my wife’s chronic lateness to many things. It’s really annoying and grates on my nerves. To her, it seems like no big deal because I always manage to rush her by telling her the time of an event 45 minutes earlier. She’s never noticed EARLIER because she’s too caught up with herself, constantly taking photos. That’s the reason she’s always late. She has a decent following on Instagram and is looking to grow as a “content creator.” I find it really silly how she turns everything we do into a photo session, and at this point, I’ve stopped agreeing to take her photos altogether. We’ve had several conversations about this. I’ve told her that it’s mentally exhausting for me to always have to stay on top of making sure we both get ready according to plan. But she never really does anything to address it. This time, I wanted her to experience the consequences of her actions. This month alone, we’ve been embarrassingly late to events 2 times, and this time was the first she realized I hadn’t been honest about the timing because I used to give her an ETA 40 minutes earlier. A week ago, I told her I wouldn’t be doing that anymore and that I expected her to act like an adult and be more responsible. It was her birthday this weekend, and I got her tickets to an event featuring several performers, including her favorite artists in the first act. This time, as I’d already told her before, I didn’t give her the extra 40-minute buffer. I expected her to remember our conversation and store that information in her head to plan accordingly. Instead, she did her whole influencer routine—decorating our room, setting up studio lights, dressing up, and taking photos. The whole time, I knew she was missing out on her favorite artist because she didn’t take me seriously. It was so ironic that I didn’t even feel like reminding her. I’m done with the mental burden of always rushing and planning. We arrived, and she realized what had happened. She got upset and started crying, asking how I could do this to her on her birthday. She said it seemed like I was liking the rise it got from her and asked why I couldn’t set my “ego” aside for one day. I told her this was on her, I’d already made it clear I wasn’t going to rush anymore, and she should have listened the first time and expected me to follow through, unlike her. She said the whole point of the event was to see the performances of those artists, who we’d just missed. She was incredibly upset and kept crying off and on during the event. The ride home was awkward. I was in the downstairs restroom when she texted me saying I wasn’t welcome in the bedroom that night. I ignored her message and went in while she was changing. She looked like she wanted to kill me, and I simply told her that her saying I’m not welcome was irrelevant because it’s my room too. If she’s uncomfortable, she could take the couch. She ended up leaving to visit her mom, and I’m considering whether I was an asshole?

2025-10-30 08:06:32

Jonas Bergström

Movie Reviews

AITA for refusing to cook after my BF tried to “critique” my cooking with a literal PowerPoint presentation?

So, this happened a few days ago, and I’m still trying to process it. For context, I (28F) have been with my BF (30M) for about 2 years. We live together, and I’ve always done most of the cooking because I genuinely enjoy it, and he claims he can’t “even boil water” without setting off the smoke alarm. The other night, I made one of our favorite meals, and while we were eating, he got a weird smirk on his face. He then says, “You know, I’ve been taking notes.” I laughed, thinking he was joking, but then he said, “No, really. I made a presentation.” I still thought it was a joke until he got up, connected his laptop to the TV, and opened a PowerPoint titled “Improving Our Home Dining Experience.” I was in disbelief as he went slide by slide critiquing my dishes: “Slide 1: Too Much Garlic,” “Slide 2: Pasta Consistency,” “Slide 3: More Salt, Less Sass.” The kicker was Slide 8, which was just a photo of Gordon Ramsay facepalming with the caption, “What he’d think.” I was stunned. I told him if he had such detailed opinions, he should cook himself. He tried to backtrack, saying it was “all in good fun” and that he was “just trying to help.” But I wasn’t laughing. I haven’t cooked since, and now he’s been living off cereal and takeout. He’s sulking, saying I’m overreacting and “ruining the joke.” So, Reddit, AITA for refusing to cook after my BF presented me with a PowerPoint critique of my cooking?

2025-10-30 08:06:34

Anya Petrova

AITA

AITAH for telling a plus size woman that I love being ‘skinny’?

I dread going to my childhood friend's birthday party every year. We moved apart a decade ago, and even though I'll always care deeply about her, we are very different people now and her friend group reflects this. She has one friend, let's call her Amanda, who...without fail... has to comment on my weight EVERY single time she sees me. 'You're so skinny!' 'Do you even eat?' 'Does your bf care that you don't have curves?' 'Your legs are like sticks!' For the record - I eat plenty. I just have a fast metabolism which keeps me super thin. I keep a strong face when Amanda says these things to me, but truthfully she's touching on my worst insecurities and it makes me dread going to these parties every year. I was considering not going this year, until I talked to my mom about it. My mom had (what I thought was) a great idea on how to deal with Amanda. She suggested I pretend she's giving me a compliment. My mom told me: "If Amanda says 'You're so skinny!', just smile and say 'Thanks! I love being skinny. And if she looks disappointed at your response, you'll have proven she was trying to insult you." I thought this was great advice, however something I had failed to mention to my mom was that Amanda was overweight. I didn't realize this meant I was entering potential AH territory. Anyway, the dreaded birthday party day comes. And of course, no surprise, Amanda immediately looks at my arms and comments how tiny they are. I ignored this comment. Then later on in the day, we were standing in a group together and she was eyeing me up and down. She chuckled to herself and says "God, you're so skinny." And I thought, ok here it is. Here is my moment. I turned to her, smiled and said "Thanks. I love being skinny". And then, and I am completely serious here... SHE SLAPS ME IN THE FACE!!!!! I was in complete shock, just staring back at her, mouth hanging open with my hand on my cheek. Everyone was silent. She suddenly bursts into tears and runs out of the room. Two of her friends chase her. Only one other girl and my childhood friend asked if I was okay, but everyone else was just shooting me dirty looks. I promptly left the party (which sucked cause I had a two-hour commute and had planned to sleepover). The next day, I was texting with my childhood friend about it. She basically thinks that even though Amanda shouldn't have slapped me, that I was insensitive for saying "I love being skinny" to a plus size person. I argued that Amanda has been consistently insensitive to me every party. And I didn't comment on her body, only my own. She told me that it's different because being skinny is socially acceptable, and that Amanda wouldn't usually do something like this but I triggered her with my 'insult'. My mom thinks I am in the right but this was all her idea so of course she does lol. So AITA for what I said to Amanda?

2025-10-30 08:06:35

Jonas Bergström

AITA

AITA for kicking my roommate out for something that her friend did?

I am a 37 year old man and my roommate is an early-30s woman. I rent a two-bedroom house and it had a spare room, so I decided to look for a roommate last year. I had a couple of people interested, but a friend asked me for a favor and I let her move in. She pays about 30% of the rent because that's all she can afford. My roommate has one particularly good friend who she invites over regularly. I do not like that woman at all. She is loud, self-centered, and has no concept of boundaries, property, or privacy. She has "accidentally" eaten my food and drunk my beer several times when she came over, and I have voiced my opinion about her to my roommate regularly. My roommate's response has always been "as long as I'm paying my part of the rent, the company I keep is between them and me." On Saturday night, she invited her friend over. As I often am in my room, I was completely naked, lying over my covers, reading a book. I like being naked and expect a reasonable amount of privacy from civilized people. When my roommate was in the bathroom, my door door flew open like it was rammed by a siege engine. Her friend had barged in to "surprise" me, and instead of frantically apologizing for violating my privacy (and seeing me naked), she burst out laughing as I fumbled to cover myself. By now my roommate had come out of the bathroom, and her friend shouted to her "I saw his little ____!" My roommate snort-laughed loudly. The next morning my roommate was hung over, and so I told her that her time in the house was over and that she had a month to vacate. I looked up the laws in my state, and since I am the only person on the lease, I can legally kick her out as long as I give her proper notice. She told me that she warned her roommate about privacy after what happened, and I told her I don't care at all. She brought that woman into the house, she was entertained by my embarrassment, and I wasn't comfortable living with her for another day. I told her if it were legal I'd kick her out that second. My roommate has been nasty with me all week, saying that she has nowhere to go. I don't care and keep telling her that she might want to start looking. Our mutual friend who I originally did the favor for has sided with her completely, and so I just blocked him.

2025-11-08 16:41:00

Elise Dubois

AITA

AITAH for embarrassing my stepmom at dinner after she tried to “teach me a lesson” about my real mom?

I (18F) live with my dad and my stepmom (43F). My mom passed away when I was 10, and it’s still a sensitive subject for me. My stepmom came into the picture a couple of years later, and while we’re civil, we’re definitely not close. She’s always had this weird vibe — like she’s trying to compete with my mom even though my mom isn’t here. She gets snippy when I talk about her or wear anything that belonged to her (like my mom’s old necklace I wear basically every day). Anyway, a few nights ago, we were out for dinner with my dad, stepmom, and her parents. Her mom asked about the necklace, and I said, “It was my mom’s. She gave it to me before she passed. I wear it every day.” Stepmom immediately cut in with, “Well, technically I’m your mom now. I’ve done more mothering in the last 8 years than she did in 10.” I swear the whole table went silent. I just laughed and said, “If you think being a mom is about trying to erase the actual one, then yeah, you’ve been amazing.” She looked like she’d been slapped. Her mom gasped. My dad told me to apologize, but I refused. I said I was tired of her acting like my mom never existed, and I wasn’t going to play along anymore. Now my stepmom is barely speaking to me, and my dad says I “need to be the bigger person” because “she’s just trying to connect.” But to me, that didn’t feel like connection — that felt like erasure. AITA for calling her out in front of everyone?

2025-10-30 08:06:18

Luca Moretti

AITA

AITA for treating my coworker differently after she accused me of SA when i saved her live.

I'm a quiet guy and genuinely friendly. I treats all my coworkers as friends. About, 2 months ago, during a work lunch, one of my coworker started choking so i did the Heimlich thing to help her, after she's in the clear the others cheered i asked if she alright, she just nodded and head to the bathroom without a word so i didn't think much about that. Until, two days later i got called in to HR for my "inappropriate" behavior, i was confused and ask for more details. That's when they told me that my coworker had filed a complaint stating that she felt my touchs when i was helping her was inappropriate, my body was too close and she "felt" my "private" touching her. I gave my statement and they put me on ice (i was still working with potential to be removed) while they investigate further. After a week i was in the clear. I return to working normally without fear, but i started distancing myself from the coworker, she tried to apologize which i accepted and tried to explained that she has to tell me that she has trauma but i still take precautions and only treat her as just colleague. I'm no longer talk to her unless needed to, always keeping distance, no longer inviting her out unless there're others. She could feel my hesitant toward her and how nolonger treat her the same as others, she tried to say that i'm being ridiculous and petty but i told her that i'm just looking after myself. So am i the ah? Ps. Sorry about my English if there're errors, it's my third language.

2025-10-30 08:06:20

Jonas Bergström

AITA

AITAH for calling the person who cut themselves a slice of my daughter's personalized birthday cake that was in the shared fridge at work a worthless piece of shit?

It's my daughter's birthday this weekend. I had to pick up her birthday cake yesterday before work so I put it in the shared fridge with the intention to take it home when I knocked off. Although we have had a few incidents with stolen lunches, I didn't think it would be an issue. It was a custom made birthday cake with my kid's name on it afterall. So you can imagine my shock when I went to retrieve my lunchbox from the fridge and noticed that someone had cut themselves a slice of the cake. I lost it and went around questioning everyone and no one admitted to it. No one saw anything either and there aren't any cameras in there. I loudly said that whomever the culprit was, they were a worthless piece of shit but my boss didn't appreciate that.

2025-10-30 08:06:26

Elise Dubois

Relationships

AITA for not stopping my husband from getting the paternity test?

My husband recently asked me for a paternity test. Why? Because our son looks nothing like him. I never cheated on him. I would never. He knows he was my first and only partner. I told him he can have the test. Who am I to stop him from it? He took the test and found out our son is actually his and he seemed very happy. I told him congrats. Now you are sure it's your own son you are paying child support for. He asked what does that mean and I told him if he thinks I cheat on him then we truly shouldn't be married. I took my son and left and we are currently staying in a hotel and I'm going to get divorced. He keeps calling and texting and begging me to come back but I don't want to. He said if I had such a problem with the test then I should have stopped him instead of allowing it and then "acting like a bratty child and ruining our lives". I'm not sure how I'm the one ruining our lives. He is the one who thinks I'm a cheater, he should be happy he doesn't have to live with a cheater anymore.

2025-10-30 08:06:29

Elise Dubois

AITA

AITAH for telling a guy to shut up during a job interview

I was interviewing this guy for a very good software engineering position. He passed the first round, and both I and everyone involved in the second round really liked his resume and experience. On paper, he had everything we were looking for, and honestly, this looked like a life-changing opportunity for him. Then he shows up, very serious and not smiling at all. I'm used to that in tech interviews, and I understand it can be an intimidating environment. We did a round of introductions, and then he opened the interview by saying, "Let me tell you a little bit about myself." We said, okay, go for it. He started talking and talking about his personal and professional background. After about three minutes, I jumped in to ask a follow-up question based on something he mentioned. He replied, "I will answer, just give me a moment," and continued talking. A coworker jumped in with another question, and he said the same thing to her. At this point, we were kind of looking at each other, but decided to let him continue and give him the benefit of the doubt. But after more than five minutes, I jumped in again with another question. I had to talk over him to do it. He finally paused and answered, but in such a long-winded way that he ended up veering into another topic. My coworker asked another question, and the same thing happened. At this point, I was ready to end the interview. I tried to politely wrap it up several times, but he was unable to read the room and just kept talking. I finally raised my voice slightly and said something like, "Thank you very much for sharing your background. In the interest of time, I’d like to ask if you have any questions for us." This is standard protocol and helps us prepare answers for future interviews. He asked a question about the team. As I was answering, he raised his finger and interrupted to talk more about his background. I let it go. Then he asked another question, which my coworker started to answer, but again, he spoke over her to talk about himself. I tried once more to interrupt politely, but he kept talking. At that point, I was done. I said, "John, you really have to shut up and listen." He was surprised, as was my coworker, but he finally stopped talking. I continued, "You walked into this room with a 99 percent chance of getting the job. Now that chance is zero. The only reason is because, in less than fifteen minutes, you’ve demonstrated that you don’t have the capacity to listen at all. So I’m telling you now, you’re not getting the job. But if you take anything away from this interview, let it be this: no matter how good you are technically, if you can’t listen, you’ll never excel in this career." He apologized and said, "Can we start again?" I replied, "You had your chance. Best of luck in your future interviews. Make sure you listen." Looking back, I know I could have handled that differently, but I still feel bad for the guy.

2025-10-30 08:06:48

Elise Dubois

Relationships

META: Too many AITA commenters advocate too quickly for people to leave their partners at the first sign of conflict, and this kind of thinking deprives many people of emotional growth.

I’ve become frustrated with how quick a lot of AITA commenters are to encourage OP’s to leave their partners when a challenging experience is posted. While leaving a partner is a necessary action in some cases, just flippantly ending a relationship because conflicts arise is not only a dangerous thing to recommend to others, but it deprives people of the challenges necessary to grow and evolve as emotionally intelligent adults. When we muster the courage to face our relationship problems, and not run away, we develop deeper capacities for Love, Empathy, Understanding, and Communication. These capacities are absolutely critical for us as a generation to grow into mature, capable, and sensitive adults. Encouraging people to exit relationships at the first sign of trouble is dangerous and immature, and a byproduct of our “throw-away” consumer society. I often get a feeling that many commenters don’t have enough relationship experience to be giving such advise in the first place. Please think twice before encouraging people to make drastic changes to their relationships; we should be encouraging greater communication and empathy as the first response to most conflicts.

2025-11-08 16:10:01

Anya Petrova