Category - Relationships

Fresh updates and insights

AITAH for leaving my own birthday dinner early after my boyfriend showed up with three of his friends uninvited?

I (26F) planned a small birthday dinner at one of my favorite restaurants just five of my closest friends and my boyfriend (28M). I reserved the table, I wanted it to be a chill, intimate night with the people who matter most to me. When my boyfriend arrived he brought three of his friends that I barely know. No warning. No ": Hey, do you mind?" Just a casual "They didn’t have plans, figured it’d be fun." It completely changed the vibe. The restaurant had to rearrange the table and suddenly this dinner I planned turned into him holding court with his buddies. They dominated the conversation with inside jokes, barely acknowledged my friends. I felt like an extra at my own event. I tried to stay polite, but I was honestly upset. After about an hour of feeling invisible, I pulled the server aside, paid the entire bill including for his friends told everyone I wasn’t feeling well, said a warm goodbye to my friends and left. Later that night, my boyfriend texted saying I was dramatic and made him "look bad" in front of his friends. He said I should’ve just gone with the flow and that I ruined the night for everyone. I didn’t yell, I didn’t cause a scene. But now he’s acting like I was out of line.

2025-10-15 13:59:40

Elise Dubois

Relationships

AITA for reporting threats made by my husband's kids and their mom to CPS and then leaving because I'm pregnant?

I (30f) have been married for the last two years and together with my husband (33m) for a little over 4.5 years. He's divorced with two children (11 and 13) with his ex. I was not the other woman. They were not married when I met him and had been divorced for at least 3 years by that point. But the ex was very difficult once I moved in with my husband. It was something that could be managed by reducing contact back then but she made it clear she didn't want her kids to have a stepmom and she did voice to the kids that she did not want them to like or respect me. It didn't work right away and we got along well at the start but a few weeks after the wedding there was a very clear change in the relationship. It wasn't unmanageable and we went to therapy together to try and make things work well like they had previously. Things changed for the worst when I became pregnant. We told the kids and they became angry. They told their mom and she became angry. And then the kids were aggressive in speaking to me. There was a lot of fuck you and fuck off and get the fuck out of here from them. I was called names. I was told to get an abortion by the 13 year old. My husband was speaking to his kids and punishing them when needed. But it got worse. And then the kids showed me texts between them and their mom where there were threats to me and my unborn child. Which turned into them threatening to make sure I didn't give birth. They were serious enough that I had to call my husband home from work early because the kids were acting like they might just follow through. He disciplined them and he told me that I shouldn't worry because they won't really do it. I told him I wasn't sure about that and he told me he wouldn't let anything happen. But it almost did. The 11 year old attempted to make the threats a reality. I told my husband I was not putting myself or our baby at risk. He told me it wouldn't happen again and he'd be dealing with it all around but he had no answer as to what he could do. Not even to say the kids would never be left with just me and then more threats came as we were fighting about it. I told him I was not taking chances with my baby. I made a report to CPS and then I moved out of the house I share with my husband and in with my parents. This is all very recent but the CPS investigation is taking this seriously from what I can tell. My husband has reached out to me and he expressed how hurt and angry he was that I took it this far. His parents have also done the same. They told me I took it too far and I could have worked with my husband to make this safer for me. I feel like I gave it a chance but he was far too blasé about it especially after the attempt. But maybe I'm overreacting and I'm here to be told if that's true or not. I only want to keep my baby safe.

2025-10-15 13:59:35

Anya Petrova

Relationships

AITA for telling my BIL that someone is going to punch his girlfriend one day?

My older sister recently got married to her long-time fiance. They are polyamorous and both have a separate partner each. I have met my sisters boyfriend a few times at holiday events and he was really nice. My brother-in-law's girlfriend (we'll call her Sally) I've met once before at their engagement party and she seemed nice but she also seemed like the type of person who wants to be the center of attention. She talked over everyone, insisted on helping my sister open any gifts they received and she even told people that "she's the reason" my sister and my BIL were getting married because she's officiating the wedding. It all rubbed me the wrong way, but as long as my sister and BIL were cool with it, who was I to say anything? Things did get a little weird towards the end of the party, however, because Sally got pretty drunk and started very loudly proclaiming how monogamy was ruining relationships and was disgusting. That the only reason people aren't open with their love is because they are scared, insecure, jealous, and controlling. This made most of the people left at the party visably uncomfortable and most left soon after because she wouldn't stop (even after my BIL took her aside and told her to calm down). I was helping my sister clean up from the party when Sally started questioning me about my stance (my boyfriend had to work so he wasnt at the party). My sister tried to squash the discussion but Sally ignored her and asked again. I very calmy explained that I tried polyamory once and quickly realized it wasn't for me and that I was now in a very happy monogamous relationship but totally support non-monogamous relationships. Sally started to say something but my sister very firmly told her that she was drunk and to go lay down. She rolled her eyes but did stomp back to the bedroom. My sister then explained how Sally was usually very nice but did make being poly her whole personality, which had caused problems before. Flash forward a few weeks later to the wedding itself: everything went great! It was beautiful and everyone seemed happy. During the reception my boyfriend and I were talking to my mom and Sally approached us to say hi (shes met my mom quite a few times and my mom is the type to love everyone). My mom reintroduced me and also introduced my boyfriend. Nothing seemed off, we all said our pleasantries and that was it. A little later, my boyfriend went to get some drinks for us while I danced with my sister. It was taking him longer than I expected, so I went to go looking for him. To my suprise, he was being cornered by Sally near the drink table. His back was literally to the wall and everytime he took a step away from her, she would step closer. She was also rubbing his arm in a flirty way. I couldn't hear what she was saying to him, but the relief on his face when he saw me told me everything I needed to know. The only thing I did hear was her whining, "oh, come on." I walked up and grabbed my drink from his hand, which finally made her take a few steps back. I asked what they were talking about and she very bluntly and flirtatiously replied, "I was just telling him how much I love gingers." (My boyfriend, obviously, is a ginger). I simply told her, as calmly as I could, to stop being a fucking cunt and there were plenty of single people at the wedding she could hit on. She said something back but I was already pulling my boyfriend away and didn't hear nor care. The rest of the night was uneventful other than normal wedding fun. A few days later, my BIL texted me to say I needed to apologize to Sally because flirting with people is part of her personality, and she didn't do anything wrong. I told him that one day she's going to come across someone less nice than me and she's going to get her shit rocked. My BIL thinks I'm being petty and an asshole, my sister and mom think I was justified and that Sally was being disrespectful.

2025-10-15 13:59:29

Clara Jensen

Relationships

AITA for leaving my boyfriend’s office Christmas party after he repeatedly humiliated me in front of his coworkers?

This happened last weekend and I can’t stop thinking about it. My boyfriend (30M) invited me (28F) to his company’s Christmas dinner and I was excited but also nervous. I wanted to make a good impression so I spent a lot of time picking the perfect outfit, doing my hair, and ensuring I was presentable. When we arrived everything seemed fine at first. I introduced myself to his coworkers and they were polite if not a little stiff. As the night went on though things took a turn. During dinner my boyfriend made a joke about my job. I’m an event planner and he works in corporate finance. He said something like “She just plans parties for a living while I’m out here making real money.” People laughed but I felt a lump in my throat. I work hard and I’m proud of what I do so hearing him belittle me like that stung. I tried to laugh it off to keep things light but then he doubled down. Someone asked me about my favorite event I’d planned and before I could answer he interrupted saying “Probably one of those kids’ birthday parties. That’s her level of expertise.” Everyone laughed again and I just sat there mortified. The final straw came during dessert when people were sharing funny stories. He decided to tell an embarrassing story about me that I’ve explicitly asked him not to share before. It’s a personal story from early in our relationship involving a mishap I had while meeting his parents. I was practically begging him with my eyes to stop but he told the story anyway. I felt like I couldn’t breathe. Everyone was laughing, and I wanted to disappear. I quietly told him I wasn’t okay with what he was doing but he brushed me off, saying “Don’t be so uptight—it’s all in good fun.” At that point I couldn’t take it anymore. I excused myself thanked the host and left. When he got home he was furious accusing me of embarrassing him by leaving. He said I made him look bad in front of his coworkers and that I was being overly sensitive. Now he’s refusing to apologize and insists I owe him an apology for “overreacting.” My friends are split some say I should’ve stayed and dealt with it later while others think he crossed the line. So, AITA for walking out?

2025-10-30 08:06:40

Clara Jensen

Relationships

AITA for kicking out my girlfriend

So I have a cat named Raven who's 3 years old. My girlfriend of 2 years moved in with me a few weeks ago and it was clear she didn't like my cat. I didn't think it was really a big deal until one day I got home and he was just gone. He's not an outdoor cat and he never goes outside. He was gone for hours and I was worried sick until my buddy came to my house and returned him, saying he found him 2 blocks from my house. I asked my girlfriend how my cat, who has never tried to go out before ended up that far from my house and she admitted to kicking him out. I was furious, saying she had no right to kick him out and told her that since she thought she had the power to kick my cat out, I wanted her out of my house by the end of the month. She cried that she had nowhere to go and that she would have to live on the streets. I said I didn't care and told her to leave by the end of the month. My friends think I'm being too harsh, but my cat could have died because of her and I don't want her trying anything else. AITA?

2025-11-08 16:10:56

Luca Moretti

Family

AITA for kicking out my dad and his pregnant wife out of the home I legally own after they sent my depressed sister to live with our aunt?

My mother passed away 3 years ago. The family home, where I and my sister grew up, was willed to me. It was her ancestral property, and she wanted her daughter to have it. The other vacation home went to my 16 year old sister. Our father remarried 6 months after mom passed away and moved his new wife in. My sister says that that woman has removed all of our family pictures from the main living area. She has removed our mom's pictures as well. Now all of these pictures adorn the walls of my sister's room. Recently our father and his wife announced that they were pregnant with twins. My sister didn't take it well. She's still not over mom's death and had a breakdown after the announcement. The night of my sister's 16th birthday party, she brought a lot of friends over and the party went on till the next morning. My dad's wife, who was out with our father on vacation returned the same morning and lost her cool when she saw the kids passed out on the living room. Our dad knew about the party, they just got home earlier than expected. His wife proceeded to lose her cool and had a big shouting match with my sister. She said that my sister was just like our mom and was a burden on our dad. She then asked her to leave and sent her packing to our aunt's. I was furious when I got to know about it. I showed up home the next day and asked them to leave within a week. She's 7 months pregnant and had no idea that the house belonged to me. I know I shouldn't be kicking a pregnant woman out but I don't want my spineless father and his wife to abuse my sister anymore. My father called me a cruel brat and now wants to challenge our mom's will. He can try, my mom's family has already appointed their family lawyer to fight my case. AITA?

2025-11-08 16:25:18

Luca Moretti

Relationships

AITAH: I am calling off my engagement after my partner revealed he is MAGA.

My fiancé and I have been together since 2013 when we met in college. He struggled to get a well paying job and during his long bouts of unemployment must have been radicalized to blame everyone else I chalked it up to depression and tried to get him help with therapy. I paid for him to return to school to become a nurse too but he still has not completed the pre request after 7 years!He currently works gig jobs while I am a nurse in California making close to 400k a year working a full time and a part time job. I was hoping to save up enough to not have to work after having a baby since I one I cannot rely on him. We were planned to get married next year and wanted to try for a baby. He knows I am very liberal and all about women’s rights. He never openly expressed support for MAGA itself until after Trump won and said Trump will help the economy and finally allow him to get a good job I told him that it was the easiest time to get a job in the past 20 years in 2021 yet he couldn’t. I am not giving into sunken costs and staying and he didn’t know, but he did make offhand comments before on women losing their worth the older they get and I questioned him and he said it was a joke. The past week has been miserable listening to him talk non stop on how great trump is and how he will turn everting great again. I had it and gave him notice to leave by the end of the month and we are through. He said it’s unfair and told me it’s stupid to give up on us over just politics. The very fact he said that solidified the notion that he is so clueless and our values are too different. He will likely have to move back into his parent’s home or be homeless since he makes less than 35k a year in the most expensive region in the USA. Am I the asshole for throwing away my relationship of 11 years over politics? I wish politics was boring again.

2025-10-27 18:22:06

Clara Jensen

Relationships

AITA for getting up from my chair in the middle of christmas dinner and shouting "SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT MY BODYYYYY" in response to my husband's observation?

So, Ever since I had my son months ago, my husband has started making indirect comments about my body. He never says any hurtful words but I find his "observations" he calls it hurtful. For example, he'd see me wearing an old top and say "oh that top used to look good on you but not anymore though..." or when he looks at my waist and says "Wow, didn't know your waist could get this wide!". Basically passive stuff that I tried to ignore til it extended to friends and family. FYI this went on for months and months and months!! We went to christmas celebration at his family's home. My SIL complimented my floral maxi dress and my husband said "I agree it looks nice on you...though I have to admit that your waist could get smaller than this!". Awkward silence took over. I was absolutely fuming and this was my last straw. So I got up from my chair in the middle of dinner and shouted at the top of my lungs "SHUT THE FUCK UP ABOUT MY BODDDYYY!!!!". He was absolutely speechless as his family stared while some others tried to get me to calm down but situation got more tense and dinner ended up being cut short and my husband storming off to his friend's place to spend the night upon leaving a very nasty text saying I embarrassed him and made a scene over an "observation" he made. He called me childish and told me to get therapy for my insecurities instead of verbally abusing him and scaring his family. Now I feel like an absolute idiot asshole and like I ruined christmas for him and everybody with my over sensitivity. AITA??

2025-11-08 16:10:19

Clara Jensen

Relationships

AITAH for letting my chronically late wife miss an event she was looking forward to by not rushing her, because I wanted her to face consequences?

My wife (32F) and I (31M) have been together for 5 years. I’m fed up with my wife’s chronic lateness to many things. It’s really annoying and grates on my nerves. To her, it seems like no big deal because I always manage to rush her by telling her the time of an event 45 minutes earlier. She’s never noticed EARLIER because she’s too caught up with herself, constantly taking photos. That’s the reason she’s always late. She has a decent following on Instagram and is looking to grow as a “content creator.” I find it really silly how she turns everything we do into a photo session, and at this point, I’ve stopped agreeing to take her photos altogether. We’ve had several conversations about this. I’ve told her that it’s mentally exhausting for me to always have to stay on top of making sure we both get ready according to plan. But she never really does anything to address it. This time, I wanted her to experience the consequences of her actions. This month alone, we’ve been embarrassingly late to events 2 times, and this time was the first she realized I hadn’t been honest about the timing because I used to give her an ETA 40 minutes earlier. A week ago, I told her I wouldn’t be doing that anymore and that I expected her to act like an adult and be more responsible. It was her birthday this weekend, and I got her tickets to an event featuring several performers, including her favorite artists in the first act. This time, as I’d already told her before, I didn’t give her the extra 40-minute buffer. I expected her to remember our conversation and store that information in her head to plan accordingly. Instead, she did her whole influencer routine—decorating our room, setting up studio lights, dressing up, and taking photos. The whole time, I knew she was missing out on her favorite artist because she didn’t take me seriously. It was so ironic that I didn’t even feel like reminding her. I’m done with the mental burden of always rushing and planning. We arrived, and she realized what had happened. She got upset and started crying, asking how I could do this to her on her birthday. She said it seemed like I was liking the rise it got from her and asked why I couldn’t set my “ego” aside for one day. I told her this was on her, I’d already made it clear I wasn’t going to rush anymore, and she should have listened the first time and expected me to follow through, unlike her. She said the whole point of the event was to see the performances of those artists, who we’d just missed. She was incredibly upset and kept crying off and on during the event. The ride home was awkward. I was in the downstairs restroom when she texted me saying I wasn’t welcome in the bedroom that night. I ignored her message and went in while she was changing. She looked like she wanted to kill me, and I simply told her that her saying I’m not welcome was irrelevant because it’s my room too. If she’s uncomfortable, she could take the couch. She ended up leaving to visit her mom, and I’m considering whether I was an asshole?

2025-10-30 08:06:32

Jonas Bergström

Family

AITA for not sticking up for my grandmother after my wife told her to f- off out of her hospital room?

About 3 weeks ago my Wife-33 went into premature labor with our daughter at 31 weeks. It was entirely unexpected and both my wife and our daughter had a horrible time and it became quite dangerous for the both of them. My wife became preeclamptic among other serious complications and for the first week we weren't even sure if either my wife or our daughter would make it. Luckily they both survived but our daughter is still in the nicu after 3 weeks and probably will be in for another 3, and my wife is still in the hospital as well. It has been a horrible struggle for my wife. Before this she was a very healthy and active person and even during most of her pregnancy she was able to maintain a somewhat active lifestyle, but because of the trauma her body went through she is basically starting back from square one and hasn't even been able to hold our daughter yet. My wife has had a lot of struggles so far with her birth trauma and feels so confused and hurt by her experience. She told me that she feels betrayed by her own body and even in some of her weakest moments she even said she regretted getting pregnant entirely because of how much she has suffered and she is so worried she'll never be the person she was again. She feels horrible for having these feelings but I and multiple mental health professionals have been working to help and support her through this. We finally have reached a point where we can receive visitor's. Her family lives close but my family lives 3 states away and have been awaiting the chance to meet the baby and check in on my wife. My parents and grandparents flew down and I warned my family beforehand that my wife and daughter are still at very fragile stages and to be patient. When I brought them in to see my wife my grand mother immediately went and wanted to talk to her about the birth and her experience. My wife told her that it was one of the worst experiences of her life and my grandmother responded by telling her that the "worst is yet to come" and that struggling is what being a mother is about. My wife got very upset over this comment and started screaming at her to f- off and to get the f out. I had never seen my wife like this and I could tell she was feeling extremely stressed and I quickly escorted my family out. I told them it would be best if they left for now and we could talk later as not to cause even more stress on my wife. My family said they were "appalled" by my wifes behavior and me for not defending my grandmother, but at the end of the day I feel that it is my responsibility to be my wife's advocator all of the time but especially now. It has become a bit of a "tension" in my extended side of the family however, but I haven't told my wife about it because I don't want to stress her out and I plan to deal with this alone entirely. Should I apologize on my wifes behalf? If I am the AH I'll own up to it, but I don't see my wife as an AH at all.

2025-11-08 16:37:26

Clara Jensen

Relationships

AITA for telling my mom she can't share a room or a bed with her boyfriend in my home?

When I (27f) was in college I met my boyfriend and we moved in together, sharing a place with some friends, after dating for a year. I was 19 when we met and 20 when we moved in together. We decided from that point onward to take turns spending Christmas with our families. But the first year we were supposed to see mine, my mom made it clear my boyfriend could not stay and and we weren't sharing a room or a bed in her house. My dad argued in favor of letting it happen since I was an adult and living with him already but mom said no. She hated that I wouldn't stay at their house then and instead booked an Airbnb. She said I should respect the rules of her house and I told her I was, but I didn't want to tell my boyfriend to be alone on the holidays and especially when his family had welcomed us together happily. After that I made it clear there would be no coming to visit like that if I couldn't sleep with my boyfriend. My mom said it wasn't like we were married so she had every right to that rule. Two years ago my dad died and for 11 months my mom has been in a relationship with her boyfriend. They don't live together exactly but according to my brother he was there most nights while he was still there. My mom and brother aren't really talking right now. My brother could hear mom and her boyfriend in bed and he hated it so he moved out. He's also 22 and had wanted to but it gave him the push to move. My mom was furious and demanded to know why he was leaving out of nowhere and she freaked when my brother told her he was tired of hearing them. It started mom off on him not being happy for her that she found someone again after dad died. My mom seems to be missing my brother being around and she told me she misses having her kids around her so she wanted to visit for a week or two soon. She wanted to bring her boyfriend along and I told her she can't share a room or a bed with him in my home. I told her I do not want to hear that. She got mad at me and said she's a grown woman and should be allowed her freedom. I told her she was alright denying it to me and I wasn't even planning to have sex in her house. But it sounded like she doesn't care if we hear or not and I'm not dealing with it. I also told her I wasn't going to reward her with sharing with her boyfriend when she has been so strict with me about it. My mom accused me of acting like a petty child. AITA?

2025-10-30 08:06:45

Jonas Bergström

Relationships

Aitah for telling my wife she’s just as racist as her parents

I 53 M am white. My wife of 30 years Naomi is Japanese. We have three kids. This story focuses on my oldest son Kyle 28. When Kyle first got to college he began dating a Japanese girl and when he introduced her to my wife, Naomi loved her. They didn't end up working out. But for the past three years, my son has been seeing Dani, a black girl. My son was in medical school across the country and he ended up meeting Dani because they both were volunteers at a soup kitchen. I remember the first time he sent a picture of her, my wife immediately didn't like her. I'm going to try to phrase this without sounding ignorant myself. But she looks like the urban black girl most think of when African American women. She has the big hoop earrings, the long nails, the long eye lashes. I think she looks stunning, but I've never been in a situation where I was involved in African American culture. Recently my son moved back to our city for residency and Dani moved with him and started law school. They were staying in a Air bnb, while looking for a place and this week they finally found one. So they invited us over for dinner. Dani cooked soul food and this stuff was amazing. I complemented her food and my wife gave me the side eye. Naomi then pulled out her phone and asked Dani why does she dress like that and why was she twerking in public. Kyle asked my mom what her problem was, I then took the phone to scroll through Dani's instagram. And while she did have some videos of her having fun, she also had plenty of pictures of her a academic achievements. Before Dani could answer I told my wife Dani is young and having fun. I asked did she see that Dani graduated Cum laude or all the times she volunteered. My wife looked angry that I would bring that up. Naomi then said that she thinks that Dani isn't good enough for our son. Dani then asked why Naomi loved Kyle's ex so much. She didn't graduate with honors, she has many different boys that she posted on social media. Dani then said it's evident the reason Naomi doesn't like her is because of her race. Naomi doubled down and said so what. I've never heard Kyle even disrespect his mother but he told her to get the fuck out. Naomi left crying. In the car on the ride home I asked her what was her problem. She asked why didn't I defend her. I said because she was being a racist and a hypocrite and she's acting just like her parents. Her parents didn't like me because I was white. She just said it's different and was just silent on the way home. And when we got to the house she locked herself in the room and started crying. I can't feel bad for her because if someone disrespected my wife the way she disrespected Dani I would have absolutely did the same exact thing Kyle did. But Aita because I was also harsh towards her in this situation.

2025-10-30 08:06:18

Jonas Bergström

Family

AITAH for kicking my brother and his new wife out of my house after they tried to “redecorate” my dead daughter’s room while I was at work?

So, this is still pretty fresh, and I’m absolutely fuming. For context, I (38F) lost my daughter two years ago in a car accident. She was only 14, and ever since that day, I’ve kept her room exactly as she left it. I don’t go in there often, but just knowing that it’s there, untouched, brings me comfort. It’s like having a piece of her still with me. Her posters, her art supplies, her clothes—all of it is still there. I can’t bring myself to change it. Now, fast forward to a few months ago, my brother (34M) and his *new* wife (29F) had some financial issues after blowing a ton of money on a ridiculous, extravagant wedding. They asked if they could stay with me while they saved up for a place. Even though I wasn’t thrilled about it, I agreed because, well, family, right? At first, things were fine—*until recently.* I noticed my sister-in-law making comments about how I "shouldn’t keep a shrine" and how it’s “time to move on.” I ignored her because frankly, it’s none of her damn business how I grieve my child. My brother mostly stayed quiet, but I could tell she was getting into his ear. Anyway, I came home from work last week to a literal nightmare. I walked into my daughter’s room, and I kid you not, THEY HAD TAKEN DOWN ALL HER POSTERS, BOXED UP HER STUFF, AND HAD STARTED REPAINTING THE WALLS A HIDEOUS BEIGE. They had moved in a bunch of generic furniture, hung up new curtains, and were apparently turning it into a guest room. I lost it—screaming, crying, the whole thing. I asked them what the hell they were thinking, and their response? My SIL had the NERVE to tell me they did it as a “favor” to help me “move on” because it was “unhealthy” for me to keep the room as it was. I was shaking with rage. I told them to pack their stuff and get the hell out of my house immediately. My brother tried to calm me down, saying they meant well and were only trying to help me “let go.” He even tried to make me feel guilty by saying they had nowhere else to go right now, as if that would make me suddenly forgive them for DESTROYING the last piece of my daughter I had left. I told them I didn’t care and that they had crossed an unforgivable line. Now, my whole family is divided. My parents think I overreacted and say I’m being “heartless” for kicking them out. They keep saying, “They were just trying to help, they didn’t mean any harm,” and that I’m being too harsh because “people grieve differently.” They’re even suggesting I apologize and let them move back in. My brother is still texting me, asking me to reconsider, saying they’re in a tough spot, but all I see when I look at him is betrayal. So, AITAH for kicking them out and refusing to even consider letting them back in after what they did?

2025-10-30 08:06:30

Anya Petrova

Relationships

AITAH for being mad at my husband for saying he would pick his deceased wife over me?

My (34F) husband (37M) was married once before me. She was his high school sweetheart. They started dating their junior year, survived long distance during college, and got married when they were both 23 very shortly after graduating college. She passed away unexpectedly at age 26 from an aneurism and it obviously devastated him, especially because they were extremely young. They never had children. He contemplated remarrying because he was so heartbroken, but we ended up meeting about four years after that. We got married when I was 31 and he was 34 and have two children. The other day, we were at a friend potluck gathering. Everything was going well until one of our friends brought up a new topic that had to do with relationships. She is newly divorced, so it was about her divorce. Others were chiming in with past relationships from high school, college, etc. I had said I never thought I would get married because my luck with men has always been terrible until I met my husband and I said I felt very lucky to have met him. After a little while longer, my husband brings up his deceased wife. Everyone knows he was married before me and that she passed. He was talking about her and then drops a bomb and goes “If she walked through that front door right now, I’d pick up where we left off” If I am being honest, it felt like someone put my heart into a blender and punched me in the gut as hard as they could. Everyone in the room could sense the awkwardness that followed. To avoid making a scene, I just laughed it off even though I think it was still obvious that it hurt me. I just felt that if you still felt that way, then why are we married? I’ve never asked him to get over his wife. I have never had a deceased spouse or even a deceased partner, so I am unsure how that feels. But I would never SAY that in front of my new spouse. After the gathering, we left and I did not speak to him the entire car ride home or barely the entire night. I did tell him that what he said hurt my feelings deeply and that we could talk in the morning once I’ve calmed down because I didn’t want to say something mean to him. I ended up sleeping on the couch because he would not leave me alone. It’s now the next morning and I barely slept. He is still sleeping. I’m not really sure what to say or what he will say

2025-10-30 08:06:45

Luca Moretti

Relationships

AITA for telling my daughter she cannot introduce her African American boyfriend to her grandparents?

Let me just preface this by saying this: **I HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO PROBLEM WITH INTERRACIAL RELATIONSHIPS.** Now that the air is clear, let me continue. My daughter (Anna) has recently started to date an African American man (Jamal). While I'm not exactly what you would refer to as "liberal", he's a nice young man and as long as my daughter is happy, I'm happy. The problem is Anna is rather naive about the community she lives in. While her friends are quite content to see a relationship like hers, more than a few tongues are wagging in the community and a few people have privately expressed their concern to me. As I said, I have no problem with mixed relationships and I've set them straight, but I am painfully aware of how these matters are viewed by certain segments of the population. My parents are planning to come and stay with us for a week and Anna expressed a desire to introduce Jamal to them now that things were getting more serious between them. I told her on no uncertain terms that this wasn't going to happen. I may have no problem with Jamal, but they *absolutely will*, and even when the relationship ends they won't forget it. They might even go as far as to cut her off entirely. Anna was extremely upset by this and implied I was a racist and more concerned with what my parents think than how she feels. As I said, I know my parents. They simply aren't okay with mixed relationships and if Anna were to bring Jamal over even as a friend, they would be furious both at her *and* me. Anna is currently staying with Jamal and doesn't want to speak with me right now. My wife stands by me given she knows very well how my parents are (they had a problem with her for months over the *length of the skirt* she wore when I introduced her to them, for christs sake), but a close friend I confided in told me that I have behaved like an ass and that I needed to focus more on my daughter than pleasing my parents. No advice needed, but I have to know. Have I been an ass?

2025-11-08 16:11:08

Jonas Bergström

WIBTA

WIBTA if I called off my wedding because my fiance does not want my son to bring his boyfriend to the wedding?

My son was born when I was only 15 years old, and I’ve been a single dad since I was 18. It was hard living for a long time money-wise but I always tried to do best by my son. Today I own my own gym and my son is now 22 and going to college and works at my gym full-time. He came out to me when he was 14 years old and I’ve always been supportive of him and his identity. I’ve been with my fiancé now for about 2 years and while she does come from a very deep religious and conservative family, she has never had any issue with my son – at least nothing she has ever expressed to me. My son has been dating his boyfriend since he was 18 and I’ve gotten to know him really well. However my fiancé told me recently that she does not want my son’s boyfriend to come to the wedding nor does she want her parents to even get the inclination that my son is gay. That if they found out, they would have a complete fit. This really bothered me because I refuse to ask my son to go back in the closet. What is going to happen in the future? When my son gets married himself? Will they want him and his husband barred from other family events? He’s my son and will be the best man and it would be unfair to deny him a plus one because her family has an issue with gay people. When I told her this, she got very angry with me and told me that I was being selfish and over-dramatic – that it would just be for this one day, that she wants the perfect wedding. I told her that this was unacceptable and that I was not going to ask my son not to bring his boyfriend. It’s my wedding too and I was his boyfriend there. After that I got the silent treatment for a day and since then it hasn’t been discussed again. However, it has left an extremely bad taste in my mouth and has me contemplating calling the wedding off. I do not want to marry into a family that would potentially discriminate against my son. I love my fiance very much but my son will always come first. I told my brother and he said that I was being the asshole here – that it would just be for one day and that since my son is an adult, it’s unlikely that he would have that much interaction with his “step grandparents” in the future anyway. I still don’t feel comfortable about the entire situation and am really thinking about calling the wedding off. Would I be the asshole if I did this? Am I being unreasonable here?

2025-11-08 16:12:17

Elise Dubois

Relationships

AITA for not kicking out my roommate just because my girlfriend thinks he might be trans?

I (22M) have a roommate (let’s call him Alex M23) who moved in about six months ago. I honestly never considered Alex may be trans, not that I would care if he was, but that's not the issue. He is a short guy and probably under 165cm, has a lot facial hair, muscles, and looks a lot like a short Henry Cavill imo. No one I know has ever brought up this idea before, I've had my friends and family at our apartment before. This is really the part that gets to me because my mom is extremely against any gay people and if she sensed anything was up she would've caused problems right away. Alex and I get along, we're polite but not really friends, he’s quiet but super polite, always pays rent on time, helps with chores, and even shares his cooking with me. I appreciate having him around, especially because my last three roommates were each their own horror story. The issue came up when my girlfriend (let’s call her Sarah F28) came over one day. Alex was shirtless, to clarify I forgot to tell Alex that she was coming over, and she noticed the scars on his chest. After that she was quiet and short with me her entire stay there. When she got home, she blew up my phone, asking why I had a “female” living with me. I was confused and asked what she was on about. She says that she knows that his scars are from "top surgery" and that he is short, so he has to be trans, and a "born female". I tried to explain that even if Alex is trans or a "born female" that there is no way I'd be attracted to him because to any person who looked at him, you would see a freaking guy. Plus he’s respectful and doesn't cause drama like my last roommates, which she knows about. Just to be clear. I honestly still have no idea if Alex is even trans, I googled it, and those scars could be from some other surgery. Like heart surgery or gynecomastia. And I really don't have an argument for him being short, but there is a lot of short men. At first Sarah wanted me to just ask Alex if he was trans, which why the fuck would I do that, or give her his last name so she can run a background check?! I said no to both. Then she said this was a violation of trust and that if I didn't either find out it Alex is trans (and kick him out) or just kick him out that she would have to "reevaluate things". Basically threatening to break up. I said I don't do ultimatums and that we're done. Since then, she's been messaging me every single day for over two weeks, even after I blocked her on everything because she wouldn't leave me alone, pissed that I wouldn't do this small thing for her. She ranges from, "are you fucking him?", "let's just talk", "why cant you at least give me closure and ask him?" to the most recent her telling our mutual friend about the situation. Our friend wants nothing apart of this shit show. I didn't feel bad at first but after talking about it online, I've had some people say I should've just asked my roommate if he was indeed trans just to keep the peace, or that I shouldn't have essentially picked my roommate who've I've only had for about six months over my girlfriend of five years. I wonder if I am being unreasonable. I legitimately do not see how any straight dude could find Alex attractive, personally, but maybe I should've done something just to keep the peace. Tldr: My now ex girlfriend thinks that my roommate is trans, told me to find out for sure or kick him out. I refused and broke up with her. AITA?

2025-11-08 16:13:32

Anya Petrova

Relationships

AITA for getting an entire table for myself after my husband and his mom didn't save me a seat?

I'll start this off by saying that I, f32 have been with my husband Bob, m39 for 3 years, married for one. His mom has a habit of keeping me out of most of their functions with the excuse of "you work too much". Not true because sometimes I do make myself available but yet find myself excluded. Last week. His mom invited us for a celebratory dinner at the restaurant after she completed her recovery. I had to work that day but I let her and everyone know that I'd be there at 8pm. Bob obviously knew I was coming. Thing is, when I arrived to the restaurant I saw that the table was full. All chairs had been taken and I just stood there with complete puzzlement while Bob and his mom just stared at me. His mom then told me there was no place left for me and that I could either have Bob get up and take his seat or .... go home. I was so upset but instead of going home I just went and took an entire table for me. Bob and his mom watched with their eyes popping out of their heads like they saw something so shocking... NGL I did get weird looks from the guests but so did Bob and his mom. It was awkward in all honesty. I had my dinner, dessert, then went home. I saw Bob and his mom staring grudgingly while I was making my way out. He got home an hour later and yelled saying I embarrassed his mom infront of her guests. I yelled asking WTF was I supposed to do after I got denied a seat and he told me that it wasn't his nor his mom's fault guests arrived "before" me and took all the available chairs. I told him he could've saved me a chair!!!!!. he said that I could've just left instead, and reminded me that I was a "guest" and that I shouldn't expect this level of entitlement to be "accepted". He then went on about how I ruined the entire dinner for him and his mom with what I did and has been pouting about it for days now. I don't get it, I really don't. was my expectation really that entitled? I mean as his wife he should've saved me a seat. But clearly I'm missing something here.

2025-11-08 16:13:35

Elise Dubois