Category - Relationships

Fresh updates and insights

AITAH for leaving my own birthday dinner early after my boyfriend showed up with three of his friends uninvited?

I (26F) planned a small birthday dinner at one of my favorite restaurants just five of my closest friends and my boyfriend (28M). I reserved the table, I wanted it to be a chill, intimate night with the people who matter most to me. When my boyfriend arrived he brought three of his friends that I barely know. No warning. No ": Hey, do you mind?" Just a casual "They didn’t have plans, figured it’d be fun." It completely changed the vibe. The restaurant had to rearrange the table and suddenly this dinner I planned turned into him holding court with his buddies. They dominated the conversation with inside jokes, barely acknowledged my friends. I felt like an extra at my own event. I tried to stay polite, but I was honestly upset. After about an hour of feeling invisible, I pulled the server aside, paid the entire bill including for his friends told everyone I wasn’t feeling well, said a warm goodbye to my friends and left. Later that night, my boyfriend texted saying I was dramatic and made him "look bad" in front of his friends. He said I should’ve just gone with the flow and that I ruined the night for everyone. I didn’t yell, I didn’t cause a scene. But now he’s acting like I was out of line.

2025-10-15 13:59:40

Elise Dubois

Relationships

AITA for reporting threats made by my husband's kids and their mom to CPS and then leaving because I'm pregnant?

I (30f) have been married for the last two years and together with my husband (33m) for a little over 4.5 years. He's divorced with two children (11 and 13) with his ex. I was not the other woman. They were not married when I met him and had been divorced for at least 3 years by that point. But the ex was very difficult once I moved in with my husband. It was something that could be managed by reducing contact back then but she made it clear she didn't want her kids to have a stepmom and she did voice to the kids that she did not want them to like or respect me. It didn't work right away and we got along well at the start but a few weeks after the wedding there was a very clear change in the relationship. It wasn't unmanageable and we went to therapy together to try and make things work well like they had previously. Things changed for the worst when I became pregnant. We told the kids and they became angry. They told their mom and she became angry. And then the kids were aggressive in speaking to me. There was a lot of fuck you and fuck off and get the fuck out of here from them. I was called names. I was told to get an abortion by the 13 year old. My husband was speaking to his kids and punishing them when needed. But it got worse. And then the kids showed me texts between them and their mom where there were threats to me and my unborn child. Which turned into them threatening to make sure I didn't give birth. They were serious enough that I had to call my husband home from work early because the kids were acting like they might just follow through. He disciplined them and he told me that I shouldn't worry because they won't really do it. I told him I wasn't sure about that and he told me he wouldn't let anything happen. But it almost did. The 11 year old attempted to make the threats a reality. I told my husband I was not putting myself or our baby at risk. He told me it wouldn't happen again and he'd be dealing with it all around but he had no answer as to what he could do. Not even to say the kids would never be left with just me and then more threats came as we were fighting about it. I told him I was not taking chances with my baby. I made a report to CPS and then I moved out of the house I share with my husband and in with my parents. This is all very recent but the CPS investigation is taking this seriously from what I can tell. My husband has reached out to me and he expressed how hurt and angry he was that I took it this far. His parents have also done the same. They told me I took it too far and I could have worked with my husband to make this safer for me. I feel like I gave it a chance but he was far too blasé about it especially after the attempt. But maybe I'm overreacting and I'm here to be told if that's true or not. I only want to keep my baby safe.

2025-10-15 13:59:35

Anya Petrova

Relationships

AITA for telling my BIL that someone is going to punch his girlfriend one day?

My older sister recently got married to her long-time fiance. They are polyamorous and both have a separate partner each. I have met my sisters boyfriend a few times at holiday events and he was really nice. My brother-in-law's girlfriend (we'll call her Sally) I've met once before at their engagement party and she seemed nice but she also seemed like the type of person who wants to be the center of attention. She talked over everyone, insisted on helping my sister open any gifts they received and she even told people that "she's the reason" my sister and my BIL were getting married because she's officiating the wedding. It all rubbed me the wrong way, but as long as my sister and BIL were cool with it, who was I to say anything? Things did get a little weird towards the end of the party, however, because Sally got pretty drunk and started very loudly proclaiming how monogamy was ruining relationships and was disgusting. That the only reason people aren't open with their love is because they are scared, insecure, jealous, and controlling. This made most of the people left at the party visably uncomfortable and most left soon after because she wouldn't stop (even after my BIL took her aside and told her to calm down). I was helping my sister clean up from the party when Sally started questioning me about my stance (my boyfriend had to work so he wasnt at the party). My sister tried to squash the discussion but Sally ignored her and asked again. I very calmy explained that I tried polyamory once and quickly realized it wasn't for me and that I was now in a very happy monogamous relationship but totally support non-monogamous relationships. Sally started to say something but my sister very firmly told her that she was drunk and to go lay down. She rolled her eyes but did stomp back to the bedroom. My sister then explained how Sally was usually very nice but did make being poly her whole personality, which had caused problems before. Flash forward a few weeks later to the wedding itself: everything went great! It was beautiful and everyone seemed happy. During the reception my boyfriend and I were talking to my mom and Sally approached us to say hi (shes met my mom quite a few times and my mom is the type to love everyone). My mom reintroduced me and also introduced my boyfriend. Nothing seemed off, we all said our pleasantries and that was it. A little later, my boyfriend went to get some drinks for us while I danced with my sister. It was taking him longer than I expected, so I went to go looking for him. To my suprise, he was being cornered by Sally near the drink table. His back was literally to the wall and everytime he took a step away from her, she would step closer. She was also rubbing his arm in a flirty way. I couldn't hear what she was saying to him, but the relief on his face when he saw me told me everything I needed to know. The only thing I did hear was her whining, "oh, come on." I walked up and grabbed my drink from his hand, which finally made her take a few steps back. I asked what they were talking about and she very bluntly and flirtatiously replied, "I was just telling him how much I love gingers." (My boyfriend, obviously, is a ginger). I simply told her, as calmly as I could, to stop being a fucking cunt and there were plenty of single people at the wedding she could hit on. She said something back but I was already pulling my boyfriend away and didn't hear nor care. The rest of the night was uneventful other than normal wedding fun. A few days later, my BIL texted me to say I needed to apologize to Sally because flirting with people is part of her personality, and she didn't do anything wrong. I told him that one day she's going to come across someone less nice than me and she's going to get her shit rocked. My BIL thinks I'm being petty and an asshole, my sister and mom think I was justified and that Sally was being disrespectful.

2025-10-15 13:59:29

Clara Jensen

Relationships

AITAH: I am calling off my engagement after my partner revealed he is MAGA.

My fiancé and I have been together since 2013 when we met in college. He struggled to get a well paying job and during his long bouts of unemployment must have been radicalized to blame everyone else I chalked it up to depression and tried to get him help with therapy. I paid for him to return to school to become a nurse too but he still has not completed the pre request after 7 years!He currently works gig jobs while I am a nurse in California making close to 400k a year working a full time and a part time job. I was hoping to save up enough to not have to work after having a baby since I one I cannot rely on him. We were planned to get married next year and wanted to try for a baby. He knows I am very liberal and all about women’s rights. He never openly expressed support for MAGA itself until after Trump won and said Trump will help the economy and finally allow him to get a good job I told him that it was the easiest time to get a job in the past 20 years in 2021 yet he couldn’t. I am not giving into sunken costs and staying and he didn’t know, but he did make offhand comments before on women losing their worth the older they get and I questioned him and he said it was a joke. The past week has been miserable listening to him talk non stop on how great trump is and how he will turn everting great again. I had it and gave him notice to leave by the end of the month and we are through. He said it’s unfair and told me it’s stupid to give up on us over just politics. The very fact he said that solidified the notion that he is so clueless and our values are too different. He will likely have to move back into his parent’s home or be homeless since he makes less than 35k a year in the most expensive region in the USA. Am I the asshole for throwing away my relationship of 11 years over politics? I wish politics was boring again.

2025-10-27 18:22:06

Clara Jensen

Relationships

Update: I cut my wife off from our finances because she wouldn’t stop ordering takeout

Nine days ago, I made a post about how my unemployed wife had spent $1,176 on delivery apps in just a month. This is egregiously outside of what we can afford to spend on takeout, and since she didn’t seem willing to stop, I canceled our credit card and moved the money from our joint account into my own. For the following few days, my wife kept talking about how I was financially abusing her. She threw several tantrums despite apparently being severely malnourished, threatened divorce, threw a bunch of the food we had in the fridge away to try and strongarm me into letting her get takeout, and even tried to guess my bank account password a bunch of times (sorry my password isn’t TacoBell123). That last one was how I learned if you try to guess someone’s bank account password enough times, the bank will send them an automated email. But last Friday, the complaints and threats stopped. She seemed mostly back to normal. I figured she had given up. That was until today, which was garbage day. When I took the last bag out before taking the bin down to the curb, I discovered half a dozen fast food bags and other takeout containers in it. My wife wasn’t supposed to have access to money. I had no idea how she was affording the food. I confronted her about it, and first she denied everything. I had to bring all of her fast food garbage in to get her to fess up: she had taken out a loan. Now, I thought that she had borrowed money from a friend or family member. But she had taken out one of those predatory payday loans. Before you ask, no, I have NO IDEA how she was approved. Within the next hour, I froze my credit. I then drove her to the payday loan place, where I paid the loan off in cash. I will now have to dip further into my savings to pay the rent. I suppose in a certain way, cutting her off was successful. She didn’t order takeout anymore. She just drove to the restaurants to pick up her food, for the low low price of $20 for every $100 she borrowed, or $60 in fees in total. In addition, I told her that we would be getting divorced. So yeah. My marriage is over. I don’t even know what alimony laws in my state are like, but I assume she’ll happily live in a cardboard box under a bridge if Uber Eats will bring her food there.

2025-10-30 08:06:20

Clara Jensen

Relationships

AITAH for letting my chronically late wife miss an event she was looking forward to by not rushing her, because I wanted her to face consequences?

My wife (32F) and I (31M) have been together for 5 years. I’m fed up with my wife’s chronic lateness to many things. It’s really annoying and grates on my nerves. To her, it seems like no big deal because I always manage to rush her by telling her the time of an event 45 minutes earlier. She’s never noticed EARLIER because she’s too caught up with herself, constantly taking photos. That’s the reason she’s always late. She has a decent following on Instagram and is looking to grow as a “content creator.” I find it really silly how she turns everything we do into a photo session, and at this point, I’ve stopped agreeing to take her photos altogether. We’ve had several conversations about this. I’ve told her that it’s mentally exhausting for me to always have to stay on top of making sure we both get ready according to plan. But she never really does anything to address it. This time, I wanted her to experience the consequences of her actions. This month alone, we’ve been embarrassingly late to events 2 times, and this time was the first she realized I hadn’t been honest about the timing because I used to give her an ETA 40 minutes earlier. A week ago, I told her I wouldn’t be doing that anymore and that I expected her to act like an adult and be more responsible. It was her birthday this weekend, and I got her tickets to an event featuring several performers, including her favorite artists in the first act. This time, as I’d already told her before, I didn’t give her the extra 40-minute buffer. I expected her to remember our conversation and store that information in her head to plan accordingly. Instead, she did her whole influencer routine—decorating our room, setting up studio lights, dressing up, and taking photos. The whole time, I knew she was missing out on her favorite artist because she didn’t take me seriously. It was so ironic that I didn’t even feel like reminding her. I’m done with the mental burden of always rushing and planning. We arrived, and she realized what had happened. She got upset and started crying, asking how I could do this to her on her birthday. She said it seemed like I was liking the rise it got from her and asked why I couldn’t set my “ego” aside for one day. I told her this was on her, I’d already made it clear I wasn’t going to rush anymore, and she should have listened the first time and expected me to follow through, unlike her. She said the whole point of the event was to see the performances of those artists, who we’d just missed. She was incredibly upset and kept crying off and on during the event. The ride home was awkward. I was in the downstairs restroom when she texted me saying I wasn’t welcome in the bedroom that night. I ignored her message and went in while she was changing. She looked like she wanted to kill me, and I simply told her that her saying I’m not welcome was irrelevant because it’s my room too. If she’s uncomfortable, she could take the couch. She ended up leaving to visit her mom, and I’m considering whether I was an asshole?

2025-10-30 08:06:32

Jonas Bergström

Relationships

AITA for not stopping my husband from getting the paternity test?

My husband recently asked me for a paternity test. Why? Because our son looks nothing like him. I never cheated on him. I would never. He knows he was my first and only partner. I told him he can have the test. Who am I to stop him from it? He took the test and found out our son is actually his and he seemed very happy. I told him congrats. Now you are sure it's your own son you are paying child support for. He asked what does that mean and I told him if he thinks I cheat on him then we truly shouldn't be married. I took my son and left and we are currently staying in a hotel and I'm going to get divorced. He keeps calling and texting and begging me to come back but I don't want to. He said if I had such a problem with the test then I should have stopped him instead of allowing it and then "acting like a bratty child and ruining our lives". I'm not sure how I'm the one ruining our lives. He is the one who thinks I'm a cheater, he should be happy he doesn't have to live with a cheater anymore.

2025-10-30 08:06:29

Elise Dubois

Relationships

META: Too many AITA commenters advocate too quickly for people to leave their partners at the first sign of conflict, and this kind of thinking deprives many people of emotional growth.

I’ve become frustrated with how quick a lot of AITA commenters are to encourage OP’s to leave their partners when a challenging experience is posted. While leaving a partner is a necessary action in some cases, just flippantly ending a relationship because conflicts arise is not only a dangerous thing to recommend to others, but it deprives people of the challenges necessary to grow and evolve as emotionally intelligent adults. When we muster the courage to face our relationship problems, and not run away, we develop deeper capacities for Love, Empathy, Understanding, and Communication. These capacities are absolutely critical for us as a generation to grow into mature, capable, and sensitive adults. Encouraging people to exit relationships at the first sign of trouble is dangerous and immature, and a byproduct of our “throw-away” consumer society. I often get a feeling that many commenters don’t have enough relationship experience to be giving such advise in the first place. Please think twice before encouraging people to make drastic changes to their relationships; we should be encouraging greater communication and empathy as the first response to most conflicts.

2025-11-08 16:10:01

Anya Petrova

Relationships

AITA for not waking my husband up for his 5AM walk?

So for the past month, my (36) husband (39) has waking up at 5 every night to have a walk. These walks would take about 2 hours, Side note to mention that this new, he's not trying to lose weight (pretty thin) he's not athletic by nature nor has sports interests or hobbies. infact, he hated doing any type of sport. I'm happy for him since it's an overall positive thing. but yesterday, he came home in the evening after working for long hours then stayed up late playing with his phone. I went to bed at 10 after getting done with the mess and everything. I woke up by him yelling at me at 7 am asking me why I didn't wake him up for his 5am walk. He said he missed it and I'm responsible for that. I was so confused I said that first of all, he always wakes up by setting his alarm, why should I be expected to wake him up this time. He yelled that he forgot to set his alarm. I said so what? it's no big deal it's not like....he missed an important meaning or something but he got more angry and said that those walks help imrove his health and restore his energy and help him feel better. I made a comment about how missing one walk won't hurt but he unloaded on yelling about how I was trying to prevent him for doing his hobby for some unknown reason. I told him he was sorely mistaken even though I admit that those daily 5am walks around the veteran's park are weird but also his reaction? I really thought it was over the top. He stormed off and went to shower saying I ruined his entire day. When he got out he started avoiding and ignoring me. Even when I talk to him directly. he went to work and refused to respond to my calls. Really, I'm at a loss like maybe it was something I said about his walks. but I really don't know. he's sulking nonstop as of now and I'm literally about to lose my mind. AITA?

2025-11-08 16:26:34

Elise Dubois

Relationships

Aitah for telling my wife she’s just as racist as her parents

I 53 M am white. My wife of 30 years Naomi is Japanese. We have three kids. This story focuses on my oldest son Kyle 28. When Kyle first got to college he began dating a Japanese girl and when he introduced her to my wife, Naomi loved her. They didn't end up working out. But for the past three years, my son has been seeing Dani, a black girl. My son was in medical school across the country and he ended up meeting Dani because they both were volunteers at a soup kitchen. I remember the first time he sent a picture of her, my wife immediately didn't like her. I'm going to try to phrase this without sounding ignorant myself. But she looks like the urban black girl most think of when African American women. She has the big hoop earrings, the long nails, the long eye lashes. I think she looks stunning, but I've never been in a situation where I was involved in African American culture. Recently my son moved back to our city for residency and Dani moved with him and started law school. They were staying in a Air bnb, while looking for a place and this week they finally found one. So they invited us over for dinner. Dani cooked soul food and this stuff was amazing. I complemented her food and my wife gave me the side eye. Naomi then pulled out her phone and asked Dani why does she dress like that and why was she twerking in public. Kyle asked my mom what her problem was, I then took the phone to scroll through Dani's instagram. And while she did have some videos of her having fun, she also had plenty of pictures of her a academic achievements. Before Dani could answer I told my wife Dani is young and having fun. I asked did she see that Dani graduated Cum laude or all the times she volunteered. My wife looked angry that I would bring that up. Naomi then said that she thinks that Dani isn't good enough for our son. Dani then asked why Naomi loved Kyle's ex so much. She didn't graduate with honors, she has many different boys that she posted on social media. Dani then said it's evident the reason Naomi doesn't like her is because of her race. Naomi doubled down and said so what. I've never heard Kyle even disrespect his mother but he told her to get the fuck out. Naomi left crying. In the car on the ride home I asked her what was her problem. She asked why didn't I defend her. I said because she was being a racist and a hypocrite and she's acting just like her parents. Her parents didn't like me because I was white. She just said it's different and was just silent on the way home. And when we got to the house she locked herself in the room and started crying. I can't feel bad for her because if someone disrespected my wife the way she disrespected Dani I would have absolutely did the same exact thing Kyle did. But Aita because I was also harsh towards her in this situation.

2025-10-30 08:06:18

Jonas Bergström

Relationships

AITAH for walking out of my own birthday dinner because my girlfriend turned it into her celebration?

So my (25M) birthday was last weekend. I don’t usually do anything big, but this year a bunch of my friends were in town, and my girlfriend (23F) offered to plan something. I was genuinely excited. She made a dinner reservation at a nice place I’ve been wanting to try and said she had a little surprise planned. The surprise was that she invited a bunch of her friends. Like, 6 of them. People I barely know. One of them I actively dislike because she used to hit on me when my girlfriend and I first started dating. My girlfriend brushed it off saying it would make things more fun and lively. Whatever. I tried to roll with it. But then at the dinner, it just got worse. She spent the entire time talking to her friends. I was seated at the far end of the table next to two people I’d never met. She didn’t even sit next to me. When the food came, they all toasted her for organising everything and started talking about her upcoming promotion. Her best friend gave a speech about how she deserves all the happiness in the world. Not one mention of me or my birthday. No cake, no toast, no happy birthday. Nothing. I literally just sat there while everyone gushed over her for two hours. Eventually I got up, paid for my portion of the meal, said I wasn’t feeling well, and left. I didn’t make a scene or yell. I just quietly left. Later she texted me saying I embarrassed her in front of her friends and ruined the night. She said she tried really hard to make it special and I was being ungrateful. A few of her friends have messaged me saying I was being immature and that it wasn’t that deep. But I don’t know, man. Is it crazy to think my birthday should’ve been at least a little about me? AITAH?

2025-10-30 08:06:22

Anya Petrova

Relationships

AITAH for embarrassing my husband's coworker for embarrassing me and my husband?

A few months ago, after many years of trying to conceive, my husband (32M) and I (33F) had a gorgeous, healthy baby boy. My husband and I are black, which is pertinent to this story. We were over the moon, and family, friends, and coworkers had also been excited for us. Right after I delivered, my husband emailed a birth announcement with a photo of our son to everyone in his office. Fast forward a couple of weeks, and my husband came home fuming after his first day back at work. One of his coworkers informed him that another guy in the office, a new young employee my husband barely knew, had been telling everyone willing to listen that my husband couldn't be our son's father because, "That baby is too light to be his and its hair is too long and straight. That's a white man's baby, or an Asian's." This guy proceeded to tell everyone what a sucker my husband was and that his excitement over finally becoming a dad was blinding him to the reality that he had been cheated on and his wife impregnated by another man. Side note for anyone who's still unaware in 2025: black babies in general are fairly pale as newborns, and their skin will darken over the first few weeks. Hair changes to a curlier pattern are usually gradual as well. Our son was no exception, and is now my hub's mini me. My husband said he had immediately confronted and questioned the guy, who completely denied saying anything inappropriate and claimed he only said, as a joke, the baby was too cute to be my husband's. But others in the office confirmed the first coworker's account. Not only that, the guy had tried to parlay his *superior perception skills* into some weird form of workplace clout. Fortunately, the guy got moved to a different shift that same week, so my husband didn't have to see him again. That is, until a company event this past weekend. Families were invited, and we took our son. And who should come and insert himself into our group as we were chatting with the boss but Brown Noser McMouth. He interrupted our conversation and introduced himself to the boss, shaking his hand. When I realized who he was, my anger came flooding back, and I said, "I don't believe we've met, but aren't you the guy who went around telling everyone in the office I must have cheated on my husband with a white or Asian man and this couldn't be my son?" The guy went red and silent. Boss said to him, "See me in my office first thing Monday," and walked away. I think someone's fired. My husband said I went too far because it was already over and done with. I said it wasn't done for me until I'd had my say, and I was the one being defamed, not him. AITAH?

2025-10-30 08:06:22

Elise Dubois

Relationships

AITA for ignoring my wife for throwing away my late wife video tapes?

I am writing this because I don’t know what to do. I have a daughter with my late wife and her name is Eleanore. Her birthday is coming up in 2 weeks and she’s turning 18. Background, me and my late wife, Cloé has been dating since college. We got older and ended up getting married, and after our wedding, she shared news to me that she was pregnant and I was excited that we were expecting our first child. Since it was our first child we bought a video camera and made little tapes and snippets of her whole pregnancy. Wholesome things such as us just joking around or having lunch, or talking to our unborn child through the camera. We made a promise to only show Eleanore the tapes until her 18 birthday. Fast forward 2 years after her birth, Cloé passed away due to a drunk driver crashing into her car as she was coming home from her mother’s house. I was devastated of her passing and went into a deep depression and having to raise our two year old daughter by my self. My friends tried to get me to go out again and start back dating, but every time I did I felt like I was betraying her. Years later when Eleanore was 13, I met Wendy. We met at a gathering for my sister’s birthday and we instantly hit it off. She didn’t mind that I had a daughter because she had two kids herself and just went through a divorce. Two years after we got married, now back to the present. Eleanore 18 birthday is coming up and I kept all the tapes for me to show her. Mind you her mother died when she was just two, so Eleanore doesn’t remember her touch or her voice. I was excited to show her the tapes and a week ago I was talking to Wendy about it and I noticed her expression going from happy to looking a bit uncomfortable. Wendy would always get uncomfortable when I talk about my late wife. I don’t say things like “why can’t you be like Cloé” or “Cloé was only supposed to be my first love” but I talk about her in a way to give my daughter a mental picture of how her mother was like. Wendy has always talked to me about Cloé and how it made her sad that “She can never be like her”. Cloé was a model then started working on her fashion career, and don’t get me wrong she was a really beautiful woman, while Wendy had two kids in college and “not in the best shape” due to her words. I love both woman how they are and I’ve never had a preference but I feel like Wendy is gaining some jealousy towards Cloé. I told Wendy that I love her just the way she was and she broke down crying. The next day after that incident she came up to me and apologized for the way she acted last night. I told her it was okay and it good that she felt comfortable to share her feelings, and I gave her a tight hug and a kiss on her forehead. She asked to see where the tapes were at and I showed her the box of video tapes of my late wife in my closet. Things were going fine until yesterday morning. I was looking for the tapes because I wanted to put them in a prettier box for my daughter and when I went to go find them, the box wasn’t in my closet. I looked everywhere to the point I walked downstairs to see my wife laying on the couch watching tv. I asked her about the box and she told me she threw it away with a neutral expression. My heart dropped and I asked her what did she mean, and she told me that I talk about her too much and that I need to move on with my life so she threw them away as a “head start”. I was fuming with anger because not only she threw away what I had left of her, she threw away my daughter big surprise. We quickly got into an argument and she noticed how angry I was so she started apologizing. It got to the point I started crying and locked myself in our bedroom. It’s the morning and I’m writing this in my office going through my computer finding old files or any type of video of my late wife to give it to my daughter because sometimes my daughter still cries that she never got to “meet” her mother and I really thought it would bring her closer to her. I’ve been ignoring my wife for the past day and she’s been texting me nonstop about how sorry she is but I really just can’t look at her right now. It’s getting to the point our mutual friends are texting me to accept her apology and get over it since Cloé died over 10 years ago but I’m trying to ignore them all because they never had someone so close to them died. I am working on finding these files but in the meantime, I’ll update you guys when something happens.

2025-10-30 08:06:24

Luca Moretti

Family

AITA for telling my wife that I'm ending our marriage because I found her brother at our house ( again) and said it in front of him?

I ( M38) left my wife ( Kelly F38) today. 5 years together. 4 married. I have battled her lack of boundaries about her family for the past 2 years. I understand that they are very close knit, but she never paid attention to how their dynamics affected our relationship. I experienced every “justnofamily” situation. My food was eaten, showing up uninvited, meddling, you name it. 9 months ago, MIL and FIL began divorce proceedings ( he cheated, fell “madly” in love with a side chick with whom he's lived for the past 15 years, and he decided that he wants to get remarried). He kicked everyone out of the house. It was an emergency, so I agreed to help out. I so fucking regret it. I had to take 4 people in, but they couldn't think to avoid constantly pissing me off. I got sick of finding them using our private bathroom ( they had complete access to the other full bathroom by the hallway). SIL started taking naps on our bed which is creepy because a bed is too personal. I came home late and we had to wake her up and still waited for her to snap out of her groggy state so that she could walk out. It lasted for 3 months, but the problems persisted. No matter how many times I told my wife and even told them, they still showed up at random hours. Even if I didn't run into them, I know she was allowing them to come over. I hated their presence. They would eat my snacks and get on my expensive recliner chair which again, they didn't contribute a penny for. I had a mini orchard that they picked empty. Things got so tense that I blew at her in front of them. They left, we had a fight and I ended up sleeping in a hotel. I warned her many times about being fed up and needing her to support me. She acted like I was demanding that she abandoned her family. Today, I came home to find her brother's car blocking the entrance. Not on the side and not even on the driveway, just right in the middle where my only option would be to get on the lawn. I go inside and he's laying with his shoes on the couch. He gave me this fresh smile like he's untouchable. I went to our bedroom and packed as much of my belongings as possible and ignored her pleas to talk. There's nothing else to talk about. I already called a few lawyers but haven't received any replies yet. She cried, but at this point, I have no empathy. I don't even know if I over reacted or if I needed to discuss this in private. I feel defeated and angry and I also hate her family with my soul. They knew they were hurting our relationship and they didn't care. She knew that I'm a private person who hates being invaded. I helped them because I live here and I didn't have the balls to let them go to sleep in their car. We don't have kids, but there are so many things that will be left undone. I loved her so much but I just can't. She called me immediately after I left and I told her that my decision is final. She sounded shaken but I told her that right now, I despise her and will never be able to sleep next to her again. Sorry for any typos. I have a migraine right now. I'm just coming here because I just want to ask if leaving the way I did was an asshole move and maybe I should have announced my intention of ending our marriage after her brother was gone.

2025-10-30 08:06:24

Jonas Bergström

WIBTA

UPDATE: WIBTA to divorce my wife after she said she wanted to send our son to a conversion camp?

**UPDATE: WIBTA to divorce my wife after she said she wanted to send our son to a conversion camp?** So first of all I’d like to thank everyone here for all the help and advice I’ve gotten under my post and in dms, sorry if I couldn’t answer to everyone there was just too many fucking people lol. So I posted something about my wife wanting to send my son to a conversion camp two days ago. First of all some people told me to show her videos and documentaries about what happens there, but this argument has been ongoing for more than a week now, I've showed her things and she won’t budge. Really bad update if I can be honest, so let’s get into it. All of you told me to try to get him out asap (yall were definitely right) so yesterday I took the day off and went to see an attorney just to get some info about divorce etc. But after what happened I’m 100% sure I want a divorce ASAP. Yesterday I went to pick Noah at his school and as many of you suggested we had a long discussion. I basically told him his mom and I may be getting a divorce because she wants to send him to a conversion camp but I can’t accept that. I’ve talked with her many times and I told him I’ll probably go through with it. He looked really hurt (my heart broke all over again) but was very understanding and thanked me for standing up for him. I pulled him into a tight hug and told him I’ll always love him no matter what and that nothings his fault. At that moment he started crying because he was so glad at least I was on his side. And I’m very pissed so sorry if I don’t make sense but apparently his mom had been pressuring him for months. She planned dates with girls to try and “fix” him and he had to lie by saying he was going at a friend’s instead. She was saying he needs help and as much as she loves him he needs to get his “condition” cured (???????) etc. I feel so bad because I’ve been so oblivious to all that and I’ve failed to protect him for all that time. How do you make your 16yo son go through that?? So when we got home yesterday I can’t lie I was furious and confronted her right there and then. At first she was trying to explain she was doing it for him but her speech quickly turned to slurs and it was clear she was just ashamed of having a gay son. In the end I told her I went to see an attorney and that learning all that just confirmed that I want a divorce. She got really angry, calling me a delusional disgrace we argued a lot and at some point Noah tried to separate us but my wife punched him multiple times???? She was saying disgusting things like he is a dirty fagg\*t and that it’s all his fault we’re getting divorced because his filth corrupted me. My daughter who was prob in her room came to see what all that commotion was about and was rightfully horrified and quickly called 911 when I told her to. Long story short the cops got there and took her away (she was very reluctant to go because she was ‘not in the wrong’ and they needed to let her go). I explained everything to my daughter and she doesn’t want anything to do with her mom anymore. Rn I’m in the hospital because my stb ex wife broke my rib while I was restraining her, I should’ve probably went as soon as the cops took her but idc my son was crying, with a black eye and split lip (they are checking for any concussion) and obviously the only thing I cared about was to comfort him because I can’t even imagine what it can feel like being beaten by your mom for being gay. I’m planning to file for full custody ofc and my kids don’t want to see her ever again anyway. Given all the charges she’s facing I hope she won’t stand a chance against me. I just sent a mail to my attorney and I hope the procedures will be fast. I’ve also thought of getting CPS involved but I’m not sure they will rly help Like I cannot understand how you can grown so resentful of your own kid because of something they can't control. Even I had pretty strong opinions about it, but as a father it is my role to unconditionnally love my kids and so I learnt about the topic and changed my way of seeing the world for him. It took some time grasping it but I never doubted one sec the love I have for my child. I thought it was the same for my wife. Visibly not

2025-10-30 08:06:31

Clara Jensen

Family

AITA: My husband will invite his family and friends over without telling me until that day. He then expects me to clean, run to the store and prep/cook everything. I finally just decided to leave the house the last time he told me because I only had 4 hours till their arrival. He canceled.

The thing is, his family is constantly judging and talking about each other, so when he says "It doesn't matter, they don't care..." I know, and he knows, he's full of it. Also, it's not just tidying the house. We are not regularly stocked in food or drinks to have people over. When I got home, I asked what he was planning on having for dinner, and he responded, "I don't know, I guess it's good that they aren't coming over anymore." Now he is sulking, saying I am the problem because I can't go with the flow. I have told him multiple times I just need a couple days notice to get things in order. But he insists I am just difficult, uptight and uncooperative. AITA?

2025-10-30 08:06:37

Jonas Bergström

Relationships

AITAH for telling my girlfriend she was the perpetrator, not the victim, in her "trauma"?

My [25m] girlfriend [24f] and I have been dating for about a year. I'll call her Casey here. We have lived together for two months. A few hours ago, Casey approached me saying that she wanted to talk about something "serious." At first, I didn’t know what to expect, but she wanted to share something traumatic that had happened to her before we met, and she asked if I would be willing to listen. I of course said yes, I would, if she’d be willing to share. Casey hesitated for a second, like she wasn’t sure about telling me, but then gave me the full story. What happened was when she was a university student, she had a crush on a pizza guy. He worked at a small shop near her apartment, and he would often deliver to her. She wanted to ask him out, but she wasn’t sure how, so she consulted her friends. Her friend group talked over it, and then one brought up the suggestion of answering the door in lingerie. The others jumped onto the idea quickly, and while Casey had doubts, they quickly convinced her to try it. They apparently even went shopping for the lingerie together. Casey put on makeup, did her hair, and ordered a pizza. When the guy came, she did exactly as her friends suggested: she opened the door in skimpy lingerie. The pizza guy initially didn't address it, but Casey, "desperate," pushed the topic. She asked him, "What do you think about my outfit?" He responded, "Dude, please don’t do that," and then left. At this point in the story, Casey was near tears, and she told me how embarrassed and sick she felt. I almost expected more from the story, but she was finished. I then said, "Uh … you do realize that you weren’t the victim, but the perpetrator, right?" She literally recoiled at this comment. She elaborated by blaming everybody else: her friends for "tricking" her, society in general, and even the pizza guy that she sexually harassed. To this I responded that she’s like those guys who touch themselves in hotels, intentionally getting the maids to walk in on them. She insisted it was completely different, and a full-blown argument ensued. She finished the argument with "I came to you to feel better and now I feel WORSE!" and stormed away. I don’t even know. I feel so disgusted with her right now. Was I the asshole for my comments when she felt vulnerable?

2025-10-30 08:06:42

Jonas Bergström

Relationships

AITAH for being mad at my husband for saying he would pick his deceased wife over me?

My (34F) husband (37M) was married once before me. She was his high school sweetheart. They started dating their junior year, survived long distance during college, and got married when they were both 23 very shortly after graduating college. She passed away unexpectedly at age 26 from an aneurism and it obviously devastated him, especially because they were extremely young. They never had children. He contemplated remarrying because he was so heartbroken, but we ended up meeting about four years after that. We got married when I was 31 and he was 34 and have two children. The other day, we were at a friend potluck gathering. Everything was going well until one of our friends brought up a new topic that had to do with relationships. She is newly divorced, so it was about her divorce. Others were chiming in with past relationships from high school, college, etc. I had said I never thought I would get married because my luck with men has always been terrible until I met my husband and I said I felt very lucky to have met him. After a little while longer, my husband brings up his deceased wife. Everyone knows he was married before me and that she passed. He was talking about her and then drops a bomb and goes “If she walked through that front door right now, I’d pick up where we left off” If I am being honest, it felt like someone put my heart into a blender and punched me in the gut as hard as they could. Everyone in the room could sense the awkwardness that followed. To avoid making a scene, I just laughed it off even though I think it was still obvious that it hurt me. I just felt that if you still felt that way, then why are we married? I’ve never asked him to get over his wife. I have never had a deceased spouse or even a deceased partner, so I am unsure how that feels. But I would never SAY that in front of my new spouse. After the gathering, we left and I did not speak to him the entire car ride home or barely the entire night. I did tell him that what he said hurt my feelings deeply and that we could talk in the morning once I’ve calmed down because I didn’t want to say something mean to him. I ended up sleeping on the couch because he would not leave me alone. It’s now the next morning and I barely slept. He is still sleeping. I’m not really sure what to say or what he will say

2025-10-30 08:06:45

Luca Moretti