AITAH for telling a plus size woman that I love being ‘skinny’?
Every year, the weight of unwelcome words shadows what should be a joyful reunion. Though the bond with her childhood friend remains, the once-familiar warmth has been replaced by Amanda's relentless, cutting remarks that chip away at her confidence, turning celebration into silent suffering.
Yet, in the face of these painful moments, a glimmer of resilience emerges. With her mother’s simple but powerful advice, she finds a way to reclaim her strength, transforming hurtful comments into opportunities for grace and self-a*surance.
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As renowned researcher Dr. Brené Brown explains, “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.” In this scenario, the OP failed to establish a clear boundary against Amanda's consistent harassment, choosing instead to endure the comments until an indirect strategy was deployed. The conflict escalated because the OP’s defense strategy—asserting self-acceptance of their body type—directly challenged Amanda’s apparent need to criticize the OP's thinness, especially given Amanda’s own body size.
Amanda's behavior stems from insecurity projected outward through body shaming, a common defense mechanism. However, this does not excuse the physical assault (the slap), which represents a severe, unacceptable breach of social conduct. The OP’s childhood friend’s reaction reflects a misunderstanding of boundary enforcement; while the OP's response was framed as acceptance, in a charged social dynamic, it was perceived by Amanda and others as a counter-insult because the cultural narrative often frames thinness as inherently superior, making the OP's statement sound like triumphant bragging rather than simple self-affirmation.
The OP’s action of saying, "Thanks. I love being skinny," was a direct execution of the suggested advice, making it understandable from a defensive standpoint, even if the outcome was disastrous. Moving forward, a more effective strategy would involve clear, immediate, and non-emotional boundary setting, such as stating calmly, "I will not discuss my weight with you," and disengaging, rather than using a tactic that relies on provoking a reaction to prove a point.
REDDIT USERS WERE STUNNED – YOU WON’T BELIEVE SOME OF THESE REACTIONS.:
It didn’t take long before the comment section turned into a battleground of strong opinions and even stronger emotions.
The original poster (OP) faced persistent, hurtful comments about their weight from a friend's acquaintance, leading to significant anxiety about attending social events. Following advice to reframe the comments as compliments, the OP responded positively to a direct comment about being skinny, which unexpectedly resulted in physical assault and subsequent social backlash from others present.
Given that Amanda initiated a pattern of body shaming, was the OP justified in using the suggested defense mechanism, or did the known context of Amanda's weight make the OP's response an unacceptable provocation warranting the extreme reaction? Where does the line between self-defense against verbal harassment and social insensitivity lie in this situation?