AITA for not splitting my inheritance with my estranged sister?
In a family shattered by addiction and illness, one woman’s life becomes a battleground of love, sacrifice, and relentless hardship. Her sister’s lifelong struggle with drugs and brushes with death cast a long shadow, while their aging father fights his own battle against cancer, his strength dwindling but his devotion unwavering as he supports both daughters in his final years.
Caught in the crossfire of desperation and duty, she sacrifices her own dreams and stability, uprooting her life just months before her wedding to become a pillar of support for her ailing father. The weight of lost jobs and stolen time is a silent testament to the price she pays in a story where family bonds are both a blessing and a burden, and survival means giving everything and more.
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As renowned researcher Dr. Brené Brown explains, “Boundaries are the distance at which I can love you and me simultaneously.” In this situation, the OP is dealing with the aftermath of a long history of enabling behavior, where the sister has consistently relied on the father for financial rescue without reciprocating care, especially during the father's final illness.
The sister's immediate demand to see the will and claim property before the father is even laid to rest showcases a profound lack of empathy and an entitlement rooted in years of parental accommodation. The father's decision to leave the bulk of the estate to the OP, while setting up a trust for the niece that bypasses the sister, is a clear judgment on past behaviors, effectively establishing a boundary the father wished to maintain even after his death. The OP, as executor, is ethically and legally bound to honor these documented instructions.
The OP’s actions to respect the father's explicit wishes are appropriate, especially considering the financial security the father intended for the OP and their future family. Moving forward, the OP should communicate strictly through legal channels regarding the estate distribution, focusing on fulfilling the trust for the niece, while firmly declining the sister's demands for immediate cash distribution. This maintains the necessary emotional and financial boundary.
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The original poster (OP) is attempting to honor their late father's final wishes, which involve using the inheritance to secure housing and start a family. This conflicts directly with the sister's aggressive demands to immediately access and split the estate funds, fueled by past dependency and resentment over the will's contents.
Given the sister's history of irresponsibility and the father's explicit trust in the OP, should the OP prioritize fulfilling the explicit, responsible wishes of the deceased father, or is there a moral obligation to temporarily set aside those wishes to mitigate immediate conflict with the sister by sharing the assets?