AITA for wanting to go to the funeral of a girl that I helped get addicted to drugs?
Haunted by the choices of his past, a young man stands at the crossroads of redemption and regret. Once trapped in the dark world of heroin and dealing, he found love in Marcy, a fragile beacon in his chaotic life. But the love they shared was tainted by addiction, a love that unknowingly led her down a path from which she could never return.
Years after he fought to reclaim his life, the past came crashing back with devastating force. Marcy’s overdose and death became a silent scream of guilt, a painful reminder that some scars never heal. In his tears lies a story of love, loss, and the heavy price of survival.
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As renowned addiction researcher Dr. Gabor Maté explains, “Addiction is not a choice. It is a desperate attempt to solve a problem that is unsolvable by the means that the person has.” This quote highlights that while the OP made a choice to introduce Marcy to drugs, the subsequent addiction was a complex response to underlying needs, placing the OP's current guilt within a larger context of shared trauma. The OP's desire to attend the funeral stems from a need to process guilt and acknowledge the profound impact they had on Marcy's life and death. This motivation is understandable from a psychological perspective regarding accountability and mourning. However, attending a funeral involves navigating social boundaries, especially when the deceased's circumstances are tied directly to another living person. The OP must consider the emotional impact their presence might have on Marcy's grieving family. In situations involving tragic, intertwined histories like this, communication is key. If possible, a discreet inquiry to a neutral party (like the sister who delivered the news) about the family's preference could save the OP from causing unintentional distress while still allowing them a private form of acknowledgment. The OP's actions in introducing drugs to Marcy were inappropriate and harmful. For future situations, the constructive recommendation is to focus on self-forgiveness while respecting established boundaries. If attending the service feels necessary for personal healing, the most respectful approach would be to reach out privately beforehand to the sister, explaining the intent is purely to pay quiet respects, and asking if attendance would cause more pain than comfort to the immediate family.
AFTER THIS STORY DROPPED, REDDIT WENT INTO MELTDOWN MODE – CHECK OUT WHAT PEOPLE SAID.:
The internet jumped in fast, delivering everything from kind advice to cold truth. It’s a mix of empathy, outrage, and no-nonsense takes.
The original poster (OP) is experiencing significant guilt and grief over the death of Marcy, the former girlfriend whom they introduced to heroin use. The central conflict revolves around the OP's strong personal need to attend Marcy's funeral to pay respects and seek closure, weighed against the fear that their presence might be upsetting or unwelcome to Marcy's surviving family and friends, given the OP's direct role in her addiction.
Should the OP attend Marcy's funeral, risking potential confrontation or unwelcome attention, or should they respect the unknown wishes of the family by staying away, thereby prioritizing the perceived comfort of others over their own need for closure regarding this tragic outcome?